#and often fanfiction is about sex and physical attraction

[boyapologist]

I think it's so interesting that I'm so utterly in love with e&o but cannot read fanfiction about it for the life of me

[syscest]

Species-affirming cybersex. That is all

that's NOT all because I'm gonna break down these concepts and how they work.

species first. reffing chapter 2 of plural respect, system members have self-perceptions that can differ from the body and don't have to resemble things that exist in the outside world - and a shared understanding of this can help you connect. Nonhuman types often shorthand this as "species" to indicate something left field of human - but it practically encompasses impossible-human stuff like "human with a curse" or "human that's a wizard" and inorganics like "sentient computer virus" or "reanimated skeleton" for most use cases - anything physically impossible enough. if you're into shapeshifter language, you might prefer "form" - same difference.

with that in mind let's talk cybering. Cybersex in most of its forms is collaborative fantasy. You're taking "thinking about a hot thing" and extending it to include someone else over the internet somehow. Though valid barebones sexting can be purely something like discussing physically occurring masturbation, it usually involves constructing a scene of some kind and (though its rarely admitted) you're basically collaboratively writing smut fanfiction about you and your hookup.

I think breaking the "this is weird" glass is critical to engage with this properly and prevent mystifying it. yes you are writing self insert oc fiction with a friend over the internet, yes you're gonna be horny about it. and yes omg you DO get to choose the tense case and perspective you prefer to write in this is huge and nobody says it.

Furry ERP communities (owing to a common layer of seperation between the selves) often use third person language, refer to sonas by name, and put dialogue in quotes: (confused, she pokes her friend's arm. "Hello?" she whispers, "Anyone home?") etc etc, providing a clear seperation between OOC and not. You might find this stiff or impersonal or booky - and there's a tonne of variation you can apply to see if it fixes that:

first-person pronouns: (I poke your arm. "Hello?" I whisper. "Anyone home?")

qualify actions instead of dialogue: ([she pokes her friend's arm] hello? is anyone home?) - this also removes hard OOC separation, enabling chitchat

both: ([I poke your arm] hello? is anyone home?)

both while avoiding self-references where possible: (*pokes your arm* hello? is anyone home?)

So sexting gives you a canvas, and because it's collaborative smut writing, it really doesn't require you to adhere to what regular humans do and look and feel like. You can write directly about your metaphysical forms interacting because you're literally out here playing pretend for fun.

It definitely works for some people and doesn't for others, but don't get caught in "what do I write". you can't focus on cybersex being *good*, focus on silly little whims and suggesting whatever comes to your head - start by finishing the sentence "if I had you in a room right now, I'd __". Its a silly little playpen for exploring eachother's sexuality and relationship to themself, just be nice to eachother and run with it.

And, yknow, affirming? well, as long as you communicate well, take the standard safety measures you would for any kink scene, and understand consent applies just as much when you're acting out text - then you can do/pretend/play/perform all kinds of stuff via text cybersex you can't do in-person. It's a great way to connect with these parts of yourself and resulting tendencies, and acquire stupid fantastical kinks about it. All new weird ways to be found (find yourself?) attractive.

Ok. well. unrelated tangent. you CAN do it in person. invoking weird nonhuman or otherwise metaphysical junk in bed is not strictly typing only - for one you can literally bring your phone TO bed and do mixed-media sex where you get to sext *and* get handsy, but that's not even the point. Sexting might make you a sex-fanfic-author but don't forget you can be a sex-wrestler/sex-theatre-performer too - talk to your hookup about the impossible things you'd like to do, and then do things that physically resemble them and you can both enjoy filling in the blanks. Your brain WILL help, if you're thinking about picking someone up with your tentacles and you use your body's arms, you'll naturally want to move them in a different kind of way, and you'll both pick up on it. The more you engage, the more it comes through in how you move. Hell, you can even check verbally if you're understanding things right - "is that your arm" etc etc. It's a more complicated, subtextual language, but it can be a LOT of fun.

Anyway, species-affirming cybersex :)

[mandydontknow]

Ik Dan has joked before that Phannies are scholars, and he is absolutely right. In 2021 I wrote a college gender studies final on Dan and Phil real-people queer baiting and whether it can ever be done intentionally.

Here are my favorite excerpts:

“As influencer culture grows, their audiences grow apprehensive of what may pass as in-real-life queerbaiting…In his coming-out video, "Basically, I'm Gay," Youtube celebrity Dan Howell explains the context of his relationship with the other half of the iconic internet duo "Dan and Phil."… he is quick to follow with a statement about his and Phil's preference to keep their personal life "private" for people that share their lives on the internet (Basically, I’m Gay). While respecting Dan and Phil’s reasoning for remaining closeted at the height of their Youtube careers, it is to be acknowledged that the duo profited on the speculative nature of their homosexual behaviors of their online public relationship. Along with Dan Howell's content, which deprecated his insecurities and mental illness, and AmazingPhil which was light and fun, Dan and Phil engaged a massive community of LGBTQ+ through the display of their closeted sexualities which caused constant, inevitable speculation. “

“Dan and Phil’s Youtube personas and scheduled live streams created parasocial relationships between themselves and their audience. A parasocial relationship is defined as the “pseudo-intimacy” developed between an “audience and media personalities,” often taking the role of a good friend (Ramassuen)…Social and physical attraction are shown to have a positive relationship regarding their importance to parasocial relationships (Kurtin). Dan and Phil’s majority demographic, at the time, were teenage girls; fans often labelled themselves based on who they found more attractive: “Dan” or “Phil” girls…Dan and Phil, although promoting a platform where they “took responsibility” for their fans through a parasocial relationship (Green), benefitted from remaining sexually ambiguous as their fan base, it could be argued, was attracted to either member of the pair.”

“Dan and Phil's 2016 USA tour, "The Amazing Tour is Not On Fire,” contained a segment where they enacted fanfiction on stage based on the audience's reaction to pre-scripted scenarios. During the show, Dan and Phil performed two blatantly homoerotic sketches which cut-off before any physical explicitness. In this situation, the duo is relying on the homosexual subtext of their relationship to please their viewership…If Dan and Phil were to kiss as part of their stage show, their fans may have considered it their “coming-out.” "The Amazing Tour is Not On Fire" is just one example where they took advantage of their crowd’s obsession with the nature of their relationship while keeping the door of the closet locked for safety (from their audience and from themselves).”

“From video titles such as “Giving the People What They Want,” which features a thumbnail of Dan holding Phil’s shoulders and smiling widely, “What Dan and Phil Text Each Other,” and “Taste Our Rainbows,” there are numerous examples of the duo intentionally teasing their homosexuality and showcasing their emotional closeness. On the topic of queerbaiting, Crystal Abidin says“ Vlogs in which not-(yet)-out Influencers display 'homosocial tactility' (Morris and Anderson [26], 1201) and overt discursive intimacies with same-sex Influencers are sometimes deliberate attempts to fan viewer speculations about an Influencer's sexuality”(Abidin)…fans scrutinized the often suggestive way the pair would look at each other which they dubbed “Heart-eyes Howell” and “Love-eyes Lester.” Inevitably, opportunities to engage in speculation of the nature of the pair’s relationship increased the overall attention Dan and Phil were receiving toward their Youtube content.”

“While it may or may not be deliberate, the pair was certainly aware of the advantages of all the queer speculation brought to their careers. In Dan’s 2016 “Diss Track,” a song about his flaws, he says “the only reason you get views is because you’re another white guy that people ship with his friend because they think it’s [cute]”…In this case, Dan is making unintentional, but self-aware gains from teasing his sexuality through self-deprication while also shutting down the possibility of a romance with his roommate, Phil.”

“I LGBTQ+ youth are more likely to experience mental health hardships as well as loneliness at a young age…In a livestream in the early 2010s, Phil accuses Dan’s fans of being dark as opposed to his which love suns and lions. In response, Dan accurately explains that they are the same fans, but that they particularly express themselves more openly with him. There is an argument to be made that Dan and Phil’s audience strongly consisting of LGBTQ+ youth is a result of their open expression of their other attributes - awkwardness, anxiety, introvertedness, and depression, rather than specifically their queerness. Their friendship is what links the pair together and adds excitement for the audience.”

“Dan Howell’s coming-out video is a 45 minute docu-short which tells a vulnerable story of his history with bullying, the word gay, and his sexual orientation on the internet…[In the video, Dan] disapproves of “aggressive speculating” or “forced outing” for the purpose of entertainment, as there could be infinite, valid reasons why an assumed LGBTQ+ person is not out (Basically, I’m Gay)…sharing the story of a difficult journey with his queerness and intimacies with his internet partner on supports the argument that Dan and Phil could not be “queerbaiting,” as queerbaiting is taking deliberate actions to draw-in LGBT+ audiences while safeguarding from homophobia. Any of their actions that may be perceived as queerbaiting was an accidental and inevitable result of the true nature of Dan and Phil’s relationship and online content they created that happened to resonate with young queer people at the time.”

“Reflecting their young gay audience, it took time for Dan and Phil to grow comfortable with their sexual orientations…The pairing of Dan and Phil on-screen inevitably —as if it were a consequence for existing as queer men online in a trial period— “queer-baited,” in an untraditional context, the audience as the content is homoerotic without the disclosure of sexual orientation that the duo ultimately benefitted from to their knowledge.”

[slutstaine-ficnsmut]

┆ 𝑀𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡 ☰ ۶ৎ ࣪ ˖ ⌝ ┆ 𝐷𝑎𝑣𝑖𝑑 𝑆𝑐𝑜𝑡𝑡 𝑆𝑙𝑢𝑡𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑒 ˚˖⁺

Destiny

Davina (Dave) Mustaine ／Female Reader

─────────────────────

Requested by: Anonymous (Instagram) 

Word count: 6,244

Genre: NSFW, Explicit, AU, Fanfiction, Smut, Porn with plot 

ALSO ON WATTPAD & AO3

A/N: Hi guys~ Hillary here :3 Very excited to share my debut work of fanfic with yall! It’s safe to say that I don’t have much experience as a writer, as this is my only second fanfic and the first to be written in English, so hopefully this is good enough for a new writer’s debut xD. This work is particularly inspired by @daven.ue ‘s amazing femstaine post on Instagram, and I am very honored to have made this collab happen with them! Make sure you check out my inspo/reference board to see the brilliant video they made on your way scrolling, with link to the original post, along with other great inspos like the beautiful sketch by @hotdogcliff (also on Instagram)!! <3  ps. take a look at my intro post – about my writing, if you are confused & don’t know what to do with the soundtrack, since this is my first time doing it ;) 

Soundtrack:  ♬ ၊၊||၊|။|||||။၊|။•  

─────∘──────────────── 3:55 ↻ ⏮ ▶︎ ⏭ ↺ 16:52 

Warnings: explicit language, graphic sex, sex-change (mtf), Dave being a female exotic dancer, lesbian, reader being the top, exotic dancing & strip club mentioned, smoking mentioned, oral sex (mtf receiving), fingering (mtf receiving) 

[I’ll mark where the soundtrack starts and ends with * (play along recommended) & smut with **]

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

𝑰𝒏𝒔𝒑𝒐/𝑅𝑒𝑓𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑠

　　𝑴𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝑩𝒐𝒂𝒓𝒅/𝑆𝑐𝑒𝑛𝑒 𝑅𝑒𝑓𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑠

꒦︶꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶꒷꒦

Music, drinks, dances and laughter...  

You have been a regular at Fallen Angels, a high-end gentlemen’s club in downtown Hollywood, for months now - You’d come down to the club every weekend, sometimes during weekdays too.  

The vibe in here is really good; the drinks are even better, but they’re not what attracts you here, the most.  

It’s a person, someone that you’ve been paying close attention to - A woman, among all the dancers, and her name is Destiny - Their best and most popular girl in the house.  

You’ve noticed that Destiny has quite a number of male admirers, sending her flowers after flowers, gifts after gifts - And some of the generous ones wouldn't hesitate to give her big tips that would make other girls seriously envious.  

Yet, she always keeps her distance from them.  

Although she always responds and thanks the gifters personally, and often drinks and has small talks with the big-hearted gentlemen, perhaps giving them a kiss or two on the cheeks as thank-yous that would send them straight to paradise - She never accepts their offers to spend a night with her, regardless of the price, and never allows excessive physical touches even during private dances.  

They respect her boundaries of course, though some interpret it as if she's just playing hard to get (sour grapes, duh) - You might have a bit of an idea why she never gets too intimate with them, and you're hoping that you're right...   

As for YOUR relationship with her...  

Well, let’s just say that you’re one of the generous ones though you never actually brought her flowers or anything, knowing she already has more than enough of whatever you would get her - So often, she would come up and chat with you whenever she could.  

Plus, as a woman in a gentlemen’s club who comes by herself, you’re much like an Amur leopard in here – rare, almost like a breath of fresh air from the countryside to her amidst this turbid city.  

She enjoys your company, pretty lot.  

You’re different from the others, and she can tell.  

Not only are you kind and generous, but very easy to get along with; You don’t lust over her, and you’re not obsessed with her like some of the others are; You’re always respectful, admiring her from afar, and she appreciates that.  

More importantly, you understand her. 

To the majority of males in here, she’s only an entertainment: Something pretty and carnal for them to look at and drool over, to amuse them, something that they pay for, although there are men here who understand what she does at the same level as you do - She’s a performer, an artist, and she IS the art.  

She’s capable of achieving more, and you know that. 

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・ 

It's Friday, and you just got off work.  

You love working as a fashion stylist for the magazine, and you enjoy the sense of accomplishment and satisfaction you get whenever you see you and your team’s work in the latest issue - But undeniably, it's a creative challenge working this job, so often you would take inspiration from Destiny. 

She’s kinda like your muse, though you never told her. 

Walking out of the office, you catch your fellow coworkers who you’re friends with... 

“Hey Y/N! How’s it going?” One of them speaks up as you all walk towards and wait for the elevator.  

It’s Tim from sales.   

“Heyy~ Everything’s great! Thanks. Was just preparing an outfit for one of the photoshoots next week. What about you guys? Got any plans lately? It’s been forever since we last hung out!” You respond with a smile, small talk and catching up with them.   

“Actually we were just talking about going out for dinner tomorrow after work. You want’ join?” That’s Pam from art direct.   

“Yeah. Some of our friends from the show business are coming too. You remember Sam and his partner Phil, right? The guys from the management agency we worked with last time? Heard they’re looking for new faces to put up some adult shows or whatever, in Vegas.” Tim adds.  

“Really? That’s interesting.” You muse as the elevator arrives, and you step in with the others.  

“Yeah, I’m down.” You pause,  

“In fact, I think I know somebody who they might be interested in...” 

You thought of Destiny. Sounds like it could be an opportunity for her if she’s who they’re looking for, but you’re clear that you don’t know her that well and that you’re not close to her personally – Hell, you don’t even know the woman’s real name, so of course you don’t want to overstep.  

“But why not? Won’t hurt asking.” You think to yourself... 

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・ 

Soon enough, it’s Saturday evening, and you’ve told Sam and Phil about Destiny during dinner, even convinced them to join you on your way to the club and check her out. 

“Let’s see what the big fuss's about~” Sam said with a chuckle before stepping into the club with you and Phil.  

You lead the way and walk further into the club, recognizing faces along the way, saying a few “Hi”s, before stopping at the sight of a familiar figure... 

“There she is.” You say, as the two follow your gaze towards the stage where a redheaded woman is standing, facing her back towards the audience under the dimmed stage light.  

“That’s our girl Destiny.” 

The three of you got here just in time to catch her starting her performance - And luckily, you still managed to find a good enough spot though the seats were almost full.*  

The DJ starts playing, and as the soft and sexy melody comes out through the speakers, she turns around and starts moving her body slowly and gracefully around the pole - Whistles and cheers coming in from all directions in the audience, before she gets on the pole and starts doing what she’s best at.  

Her fiery red curls aglow, flowing freely in the air as she spins; The rhinestones scattered on her black lingerie are almost like stars in the deep night sky, sparkling under the gentle and warm stage light that contours her body perfectly; The shadow emphasizes her slightly toned body with softly muscular arms and strong legs, while the smooth, luxurious light brightens her defining facial features, her full lips and flawless jawline; The heels silently displayed the subtle sense of power within that woman.  

She looks stunning, as always... 

She catches your gaze, noticing how you have brought yourself some company, unlike usual.  

She throws a small smile at you as she continues focusing on her performance, almost a smug one which didn't go unnoticed by you. And later, Destiny was joined by other dancers as the show went on, and they started dancing in a group - A beautiful and tantalizing picture to look at.  

However, Destiny seems to be really keen on you tonight for some reason... 

You take a sip of your gin, trying to dismiss it as something casual.  

It's no biggie that she’s keeping eye contact with the audience, and she’s probably just intrigued by the fact that you have some friends here with you tonight – You can’t deny that her continuously sultry gaze, combining with her seductive and sensual movements does make you a little hot and bothered.  

You couldn't take your eyes off her, almost in a state of hypnotized...   

The way her hips sway, the thin layer of sweat covering her stomach, the way her back arches as she gets on the floor...  

You couldn’t ignore how these little things made you heat up in a way that they never did... 

“I really like her energy and the way she carries herself on stage,” Phil says.   

You snap out of it, realizing just how fixated you were on her, feeling oddly embarrassed.   

“Yeah. No wonder she’s so popular. She knows how to stand out from other girls who, I would say, are equally beautiful and talented as her.” Sam adds.  

“You’re right Y/N. Our boss would definitely want to sign her.”   

“Hm- Yeah... She’s got the spirit...” Clearing your throat, you agreed, your voice a bit hoarse...* 

By the end of the performance, you of course had already tipped the dancers.  

You put down your drink. “You know what I really need right now?” Getting up from your seat, you say,  

“A big, big glass of ice water.”   

Sam and Phil responded with chuckles before you excused yourself to the bar, where you’d order the drink to help cool yourself down a little... 

“Just a glass of iced water - tap, please.” You said to the bartender, before hearing a friendly and casual voice approach you.   

“Glass of water? What, you’re not drinking tonight?” She teases, letting out a low chuckle.  

Your heart mildly skipped a beat upon recognizing the owner of the voice.   

“Think I might’ve had enough tonight, actually.” You respond, turning around slowly to meet Destiny’s eyes, a soft, charming smile on your face.  

“Hey.”  

“Hey.” She greets you back, a somewhat flirtatious smile on her lips, mirroring yours.   

She has always been a little flirty with you, though you never thought much about it, assuming it was just part of her job or perhaps her personality - It always feels like there’s something more to it...  

“You look fabulous.” You complimented as you took a good glance at her.  

She had already put on a white, silky and loose button-down shirt for a little more coverage, waiting until her next dance.  

Unable to ignore those beautiful and bare legs of hers that are still on display, despite your efforts not to stare too much - Especially with the slightly transparent fabric of her lingerie and the garter belt she's wearing, the side slits of the shirt loomingly showing a dangerous amount of her hips, making you itch... 

“Thanks.” She says, flashing you a lively and mesmerizing smile.  

“See you brought some friends here with you tonight. What a surprise~” She gestured towards Sam and Phil, before leaning in sideways against the bar, standing right next to you.  

“Yeah...” You respond with a slight chuckle, “Those are my friends from the show business...” 

“And they’re here for you actually.” You added.   

“Oh?” She said, her interest peaking. “Guess somebody told them about me~”    

“I did. I told them about you not only because I, well... admire you,” Lowering your head for a brief second out of bashfulness, you admit,  

“But because I know that they’re looking for new faces for shows in Vegas.”    

“Vegas?” Destiny’s eyes lit up subtly when she heard the name of the infamous Sin City, seemingly a bit taken aback by the information.   

After a quick moment of collecting your words, you continued.   

“You see... I don’t want to overstep or anything of course, and I hope I don’t come across as rude – But to me, it really sounds like an opportunity for you because I always think that you're more than capable of achieving more, though I have no idea if this is something that you’d want... Going to Vegas and all...” You say sincerely.  

“I see real talent and artistry in you, Destiny, and obviously they see it too.”    

She looks at you, now realized what you're getting at. 

“Whoa... I- I’m flattered-” She responds with a slight chuckle, a nervous habit.  

She seems quite surprised, maybe a bit flustered, but happy. “I don’t know what to say.”     

“I understand, and I really hope this is not too abrupt for you or anything – but... I think they’re thinking about bringing more people from the agency in here next week to see you perform.” You pause,  

“They’re really interested in you.”    

Upon hearing that, she looked over at the two’s direction again, and they caught sight of her this time, waving politely, and she waved back with a small smile.   

“Maybe you should go talk to them... If only you’re interested of course... I’m not trying to pressure you into anything, you know. I’m just-” 

You wanted to say more, to make it sound less like you don’t know your place and that you’re trying to make her decisions for her, but your words are cut off when she places her hand on yours, resting on the bar - 

“Thank you.” She says simply, the look of appreciation and the sparkle of hope in her eyes telling you more than she can ever express with words...  

It’s a look of happiness that you rarely get to see on her.     

“You’re welcome...” You quiet down, and responded softly, staring into her hazel eyes as she stares back.  

She looks utterly beautiful at this moment, if it were even possible to be prettier than she already is.  

The air between you almost palpable as it thickens. And for a moment, you thought you two were going to kiss - That was before she breaks away with a smile and excused herself to go talk to the guys instead. 

“Damn it-!” You muttered fiercely under your breath... 

“Here’s your iced water, Miss.” The bartender, who was just busy making drinks for other customers, says.  

You just grabbed the glass and finished it in one swig.   

“Thanks.” 

You let out a deep sigh as you put down the glass, thinking about the moment you just had with Destiny -  

That was DEFINITELY something... 

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・ 

Hours passed; Bustling, the night flies by - It’s almost 4, and the club’s closing.  

You ended up staying a bit longer than Sam and Phil, having a couple more drinks over at the bar, and right now you’re just standing outside of the club, smoking, lost in thought, before lighting another of your Marlboro gold.  

You have quit smoking for almost 2 weeks now, but they just look so delicious to you right now, and you couldn’t resist – Especially not with your drunk inhibition...   

You’d smoke enough cigarettes to see the dancers leaving the club, saying goodbyes to each other, and you catch that one person you’ve been thinking of since earlier.  

You hesitated and struggled for a bit, but finally decided to call out to her...   

“Hey Destiny...” You call out softly, just loud enough for her to hear you in the now quiet street.   

“Davina.” She says, turning around.  

“?” You’re a little taken aback, confused.  

“You can call me Davina. That’s my real name.” She says with an adorable smirk - This is the first time she told anyone from the club her actual name except her coworkers.   

“Sure... Davina...” You repeat the name in your slightly husked voice from the cigarettes, feeling a subtle jolt of excitement at knowing her real name for the first time in months, and the sensation of it rolling off your tongue.   

“You smoke an awful lot. You know that right?” She walks over, and says almost teasingly with a somewhat amused smile, glancing down at the cigarette butts around you.  

She had changed back into a normal t-shirt and denim shorts outfit, already taken off her makeup - She looks just as beautiful without it.  

“Yeah, I know... I’ve been off cigarettes for a week now, maybe two. But old habits - If you know what I mean.” You say, taking a drag, a tat of resignation in your tone.  

She didn’t say anything for a moment, just watching you smoke your cigarette.   

“By the way -” She speaks up again, “Didn't know you cared about me this much.” She pauses, intrigued.

“Enough to recommend me to someone and have them offer job opportunity.”  

She looks at you intently, as if she’s trying to read you.   

“Like I said – I really admire you. As a performer, an artist, and as a woman.” You exhale the smoke, before responding.  

Looking back at her, unable to tell what she’s thinking, nor how she feels about these words that escaped you in your intoxicated state.  

A sense of warmth tugged at her chest when she heard that you admire her as a woman, too - She takes a few steps towards you, closing the distance.  

“Is that really all you have to say? That you admire me?”   

“I...” You were just trying to process the meaning of what she’d just said, before your eyes widen upon realizing how close she’s standing in front of you, before she leans in even further, invading your personal space.  

You froze, heart racing, your breath caught in your throat as you stared at her in mild bewilderment - With her back to the streetlights, the soft shadow on her face made her expression even more difficult to read.  

She stares back, her eyes boring into yours as if she's trying to pierce through the depths of your soul, seemingly deep in thought...  

You’re not sure how to act, or whether you should say something to break this strange tension and silence, until an almost undetectable smirk flashes across her face... 

She takes the cigarette from between your fingers, before gently bringing it to her lips, covering your lipstick stain on the white tipping paper as she takes a drag from your cigarette.  

Your brain almost short-circuited at that as you looked at her, in awe and amazement, but it only got worse when she exhaled, blowing a cloud of smoke right in your face - She's such a stunner, knowing just how to push all your buttons.  

It wasn’t a respectful gesture – In fact it was somewhat offensive, mildly aggressive even, like a provocation, yet you're utterly turned on by that... 

Maybe it’s the alcohol, or perhaps it’s just something that deep down you've always wanted to do - You find yourself being drawn to her like a magnet, yearning to be close to her, to hold her, and kiss her senselessly.  

You lean in slightly, eyes drunk and faintly unfocused, glazed with affection and desire.  

The smell of liquor and burnt tobacco in your breath hitting her nostrils, yet she didn't flinch, not even a bit. 

Instead, she responded.  

Seeing the mix of emotions in your eyes that makes her heart boil - She leans in as well, slowly, until her lips meet yours halfway in a gentle and tentative kiss, as if you’re testing the water.  

The two of you pull away gently after a brief contact, and you almost couldn’t believe it.  

You can’t believe the fact that you just kissed her, and she responded - It's all too unreal, all too good to be true. 

“Davina...” You whisper her name, feeling her breath warm on your skin.  

Without second thoughts, you lean in and kiss her again, placing a hand on the small of her back, another on her waist, pulling her close - You’re no longer hesitant to let go of all the pent-up emotions and feelings you have deep inside you, so deep that you never even realized until this moment of vulnerability.  

She responds immediately, dropping the cigarette in her hand before going up to cup your face, kissing you back with the same passion as she deepens it with her hand on your nape.  

Lips part and meet, again and again.  

The kiss tastes heavy - Heavy from the cigarettes, heavy from affection, and heavy from lust.  

The sweet scent of her perfume and her presence filled all your senses as you tangle your fingers in her silky red curls, making it impossible for you to think or pull away, to keep yourself from melting into her - Unable to resist her, only wanting more of her... 

Breaking away scarcely, both panting, gasping for air – You look into each other's eyes, seeing how the mix of emotions mirrors in one another’s, your feelings are beyond words.  

You look down at her glistening lips, coated with a layer of both of your saliva, swollen, and stained with your lipstick - It's a chaotic sense of beauty and arousal, before a suggestive and amorous smile tugs at the corner of her lips as she asks in a low and somewhat breathless whisper.  

“Wanna go back to my place?”   

・・・・・・・・・・୨ৎ・・・・・・・・・・

Nippily going back to Davina’s place – It's a nice, medium apartment not far away from Fallen Angels.   

Walking inside, you take a quick but mindful scan over the living room, taking in all the little details of the interior as Davina closes the door behind.  

You turn to glance at her, your body buzzing and restless from the alcohol in your system and her presence, still a little lightheaded and fuzzy from earlier, but mostly you're just nervous.  

You speak up, breaking the lull while trying to articulate and not fidget around too much, or ruin this by saying the wrong thing.   

“Ni- Nice little place you’ve got here... Not as in small of course... It’s really-” 

“God, just shut up and kiss me already.” She grumbles.** 

And without warning, she grabs you by the collar of your shirt, pulling you in for a kiss, one that’s just as fervent as before, if not more. 

You’re slightly caught off guard by her blunt and direct move, as well as her proactiveness, and almost lose your balance, but you reciprocate anyway, holding her as you savor the taste of her soft lips - Her hands on your neck and in your hair keep you driven, aching for her.  

It’s nothing real intense or drastic, yet still manages to make you lose your mind just like that.  

Without a word, she starts moving and guiding you further into her apartment, before the two of you take off your shoes, throwing your jackets and belongings on the couch - Your hand in hers as she takes it and leads you to the bedroom.     

As soon as you shut the door behind you, she pounces on you and pins you up on the door, your back hitting the surface with a small thud before you let out a muffled moan against her lips as she press them against yours in a fierce kiss, not giving you the time to process at all.  

You wrap your arms around her waist, hands eagerly roaming over her body, exploring every inch of her curves as she does the same, your skin tingling under her gentle touches.  

“Want some music?”  

“Was that not enough music (in the club)?” You ask in a slightly hushed tone.  

“There’s never too much.” She responds with a small, mischievous beam before leaving your arms, making the air around you feel cold and devoid of a sudden.  

She then walks over to the stereo player in her room, and puts on a mix of slow and quiet instrumental jazz tunes at a low volume to set the mood - Just audible enough to fill the silence and not enough to cause distraction.  

You look at her, taking a few steps closer and finally noticing something about how she seems... a bit too sober...? so to speak.    

“How are you not drunk after all those drinks...?” You ask softly, baffled...  

Because not only Davina, you realize just how other dancers too never seem to get drunk even after a whole night of being bought drinks by customers, which makes you a bit puzzled.     

“Most of the time we order fakes and have the bartender give us the cash instead by the end of the night.” She explains, returning to you with a small smile on her lips.  

“Don’t wanna get ourselves hurt on stage... And some of us just prefer the money over the booze - Not me though...”   

“Hm...” You muse, “I wondered...” Taking a mental note, “I’ll make sure to keep buying you drinks then, if you want, and tip extra...” 

Davina lets out an amused chuckle under her breath upon hearing you say that - Her smile widened before she led and sat you down on the bed.  

“Someone’s tryna be my sugar mommy huh?” She teases, chuckling more as she plays with your hair, before lowering herself to kiss you again, softer this time...   

You let out a satisfied sigh at the contact, your noses touching as you simper against her lips,  

“I mean I don’t mind...?” before pulling her down closer and getting her on the bed so she’s straddling over you.  

She gasps softly at the change of position, putting trusting hands on your shoulders for better balance.  

Your hand swimming down from her neck to her chest, before giving it a gentle squeeze as you prolong the kiss, another on her lower back, keeping her from falling.  

“Damn...” You muttered as you held her firmly by the waist, the warm scent of black pepper and tangerine in the base notes of her perfume preoccupying your senses, your eyes darkening softly with desire and hunger as you looked up at her. 

Your grip on her waist becomes stronger and a little more possessive as you pull her even closer to bury your face in her chest, breathing her in.  

“Fuck, you smell so good...”   

Instinctively, she relocates her hand to the back of your head, holding you close as she tangles her fingers in your locks and caresses your scalp.  

Moaning softly at the sensation, you murmur against her chest, “So good, makes me wanna eat you...”  

She can feel a small shiver running down her spine hearing you say that, before your hands travel down to her bottom, gripping and kneading her cheeks keenly, making her suck in a sharp breath at your pleasurable gesture.    

She hasn’t been touched so intimately by a woman in a pretty good while, having to be closeted for the better of her career - Your voice, your caresses, your words... They're all so relaxing and almost comforting to her. 

“Don’t stop, Y/N... Don’t stop-” She moans, before gasping softly at the feeling of your hand sliding under her shirt, shivering at the touch of your fingers on her bare and sensitive skin.  

You lift the hem of her shirt and push it up, exposing her tender and smooth chest, her breasts sitting gracefully in her lightly lined front hook bra, waiting to be explored.  

You breathe her in again, peppering her breasts and sternum with many more soft and small kisses, before you take off her shirt completely and ditch it on the floor...  

You’re far beyond familiar with her body, having been a regular at her performances, but now, it feels so entirely different, almost like you’re seeing her glory for the first time - Your blood pumping, your brain already so heated up... 

It's nothing like how it usually is, watching her from distance and always scared to make the first move, always hoping that she’d talk to you after she’s done so that you can be closer to her – You’re holding her, tasting her, kissing her and touching her; You're having her, completely, only to yourself.  

No one is here to distract her by trying to get her attention and talk to her, no one is here to pull her away from you when someone wants to buy dances from her, or remind her that it’s time for her next dance -

She’s yours, and you’re hers, and you have all the time and space in the world to do whatever that the both of you have always desired. 

 

Sighing between kisses on her neck and collarbone, you rest your fingers on the hook of her bra, before asking for her permission, your voice low murmur, “Can I...?”   

You unhook her bra single-handedly, ardent, not wasting a second upon seeing her slight nod at the head, revealing the beautiful sight underneath as her bra comes undone.  

“God, you’re so pretty...” Staring and drooling at her boobs with round eyes, you gasp out. 

They're not too big, not too small, just the perfect size and shape for you - Her pink, sensitive and delicate nipples hardened as they were exposed to the chill air around them. 

Though she’s an exotic dancer, Davina’s surprisingly feeling a bit shy under your gaze as she never has to be naked at work, so the unusual amount of exposure is making her a little uneasy, in a way... but she likes how you seem to enjoy them.  

She lets out a small beam as she reaches for the straps of her bra that are still hanging on her shoulders, before slowly sliding them off - Her every move elegant, designed and calculated, meant to make you burn up in desires for her.  

Watching her throw away her garment, you’re honestly way more flustered and meeker than she can ever be, overshadowed by her brilliance, and she can tell that you’re somewhat intimidated by the atypical closeness between the two of you. 

Leaning in, she wraps her arms around your neck, smiling in an almost amused manner,   

“Come on now, don’t play coy with me...” She whispers deeply, her lips hovering over yours.  

“Touch me more. I’m yours...”  

She kisses you again, encouraging you further, before gently pushing you over onto the bed.  

With her endorsement, you decided to stop being a wimp and take the chance she’s giving you... 

Caressing her back as she kisses you, your hand reaches down to grip her bottom once more, even giving her a playful and somewhat bold smack on the ass this time - An act that brings a hint of smirtle on both of your lips, her body jolting slightly, and you can’t help but sneaker at her reaction. 

Deepening the kiss, she reaches down to undo your jeans and you wiggle out of them, kicking them aside before you slowly turn her over onto the bed and get on top... 

You look down, her now loose and relaxed curls after a long night spread evenly on the pillow, her cheeks subtly flushing into an enticing shade of pink - And before you know it, your hand's already on her breast, cupping and fondling it while teasing her nipple with your thumb, making her back arch slightly.  

You thought about how nobody from the club gets to see this side of her, and certainly don't get to touch her like this - A surge of pride and almost vanity crept up, making your head spin. 

“You’re so beautiful..." You whisper out, enthralled, before you take off your own clothes, and let the possessiveness take over you as you start leaving wet and open-mouth kisses on her neck, both panting softly, before you gently bite down on it, making her whimpers feebly at the sharp yet gentle sensation. 

Her legs clamping around your sides, your kisses feverish as you continue your way down, sucking and gliding your teeth over at her nipples while holding her svelte and lissom waist as she writhes under you.  

Arriving at her stomach, you pull away before unbuttoning her shorts and stripping her down to her panties.  

Taking the opportunity as you take off her bottom, you grabbed one of her ravishingly slender legs and put it over your shoulder, kissing and caressing her calf and thigh as you take in her vulnerability and that titillating wet spot on her panties - You’re on the verge of going feral, knowing you’d be hard as fuck to the point of exploding if you ever had a cock. 

“You’re fucking irresistible.” You grunt out softly, before hooking your fingers under the waistband of her panties and pulling them off, revealing her alluringly wet, clean-shaven cunt, dripping with her juice.  

Her pussy is smooth like peeled boiled eggs, as a result of regular shaving and waxing; Her inner labia were exposed, a cute shade of pink with the shape of rose petals peeking out from her fat folds – Her lips almost as abundant as the ones on her delicate face.   

“Geez, you're just so pretty everywhere...”  

Her legs now parted, resting on either side of your shoulder and arm, your hand finding her slit as you lean in to kiss her again, allowing her to get used to the stimulation - Her thigh pressing against both you and her chests.  

Frisking at her cunt, your fingers collecting all her nectar as they caress her folds and toy with her moisten lips, making her moan against your tongue before going down south. 

You spread her legs into an M, before kissing and biting on her inner thigh, gradually moving towards her center - A wave of electricity rushed through her when you licked her juicy wet cunt from bottom to top, lapping and teasing her clit with your tongue as you flickered the sensitive meat, making her whine and squirm. 

“Mmph-! Hmm~ Feels so good... Umm~” She moans out, her hips start bucking slightly into your face as she reaches down to tangle her fingers in your hair.  

“I promise you there’s better coming...” With your hands on her hips, you murmur against her pussy as you treat it with warm open-mouth kisses.  

You devour her, your tongue teasingly darting in and out at her entrance, slurping up all her juice and your own saliva from between her slits as you continue licking and sucking at her cunt - Her fingers tighten in your hair as she tugs at it, her head snapping back as she loses herself in the growing pleasure.    

“Oh- Umm~ God- This is- so- uh, hah... Don't... Don’t stop- Mmm~!” Biting down on her lip, her body jolting and twisting as she lets out more and more sweet, erotic sounds of pleasure.   

You spread her open with one hand, exposing more of her clit, another holding down one of her thighs to prevent them from crushing and suffocating you (though you wouldn’t mind) as you push her towards the edge.  

“Ugh~ Fuck- That’s it- Keep- Uh fuck! Mmph!” She whines out loudly, whimpering,  

“Keep it- I’m cumming- um! I’m cumming!” Her waist wriggles, legs closing almost uncontrollably as she comes undone... 

“Fuck...” She breathes out as the sense of gratification washes over her body, her breath coming in quick and ragged after her high. 

You enjoy the feeling of her fingers lingering in your hair, sending tingling sensations down your spine, and a small smirk creeps up to the corner of your lips before you ask, gently wiping your mouth with your palm. 

“How you feeling?” 

“Fantastic...” She whispers with a smile of contentment. 

“Yeah?” You chuckle, before crawling back up to kiss her. “Want more?” 

Tasting herself on your lips, she chuckles as well, murmuring as your face hovers over hers.  

“Hell yeah I do...” 

“Bet.” 

Wetting your fingers in your mouth, you’re more confident now seeing how pleased she is, kissing her again as your hand reach down for her slit once more, before pushing a finger in with ease, and quickly followed by a second one. 

“Fuck, you’re so warm and soft inside.” You groan out, gently sucking at her lower lip. 

“Umm~ and you’re so fucking good at this...” She whimpers at you stretching her hole - Her back arches, her cunt even more sensitive now after her previous orgasm. 

After letting her adjust around you, you place your thumb over on her congested clit and slowly start doing circles on it, fingers crooking up to the roof of her vagina, finding the knob of the door to her satisfaction as she sucks you in deeper. 

"Um~! Shit... Feels so good, hah~ Fuck~” She moans out deeply as you fondle on that pleasurable spot inside, her body writhing, hands reaching up to grip the sheets and pillow under her.  

You can feel her water almost pouring out of her canal, and that she’s getting close again.  

Her body tensing up once more, her walls clenching tightly around your fingers as she mewls and squirms violently under you - Her whimpers muffled against your lips, her pleasure overflowing as she comes for the second time not so long after. 

“Oh god...!” She cries out, spasming and pulsing around you.  

Slowly sliding your finger out, you teasingly give her overly sensitive clit a couple more rubs, making her whine and moan on your way, before putting them in your mouth and sucking her juice clean. 

“You taste so fucking delicious...” You whisper softly. 

“Do I now.” She responds, her chest heaving as she slowly comes down from her high, a smirk on her face before she pulls you down for a kiss, prolonging the moment...** 

Pulling away, both smiling – Davina turned to glance at the window in her room, and you followed her gaze, also noticing how the sky had become a little brighter.  

"Stay?”  

“I’m not going anywhere.” You say, undoing your bra... 

═════════════════

A/N: Fun fact: The name Destiny was inspired by “AJ and the Queen” lol, iykyk ;)  But anyway - Huge thank you to @daven.ue for this fun experience and collaboration! Thanks for reading guys! Hope y’all enjoyed :3 Until next time ~ 

Divider by: @anitalenia

✗𖹭✗𖹭

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

Number 4 must educationally describe the different kinds of foreplay there is and the psychological reasons why people are attracted to them.

Okay, not to sound rude or anything, but I feel like this is stuff that you genuinely know about, Hifumi.

Well, I DO play a lot of eroge games, AND I have to study this sort of stuff for my more...erotic fanfiction. So I suppose I'm more knowledgeable than most.

Even though you've never experienced it personally.

Well, of course not. These do not work within 2D planes!

*Hifumi stands up, attracting everyone's attention, putting on his "Alpha and Omega" voice, as if asserting his authority.

AHEMMEMEHEM! Foreplay is an important aspect of intimate relationships, serving not just to increase physical arousal but also to deepen emotional connections. There are several types of foreplay, including kissing, touching, and verbal communication.

*He takes a deep breath, feeling surprisingly confident.

First, let’s talk about kissing! Kissing can trigger the release of oxytocin, often referred to as the "love hormone,"’" which fosters feelings of bonding and intimacy. People are often attracted to kissing because it serves as a way to gauge compatibility and emotional connection. The sensation of a kiss can also create a physical response, heightening arousal.

Next is touching. This can include everything from gentle caresses to more intense stimulation. Touch can release endorphins, which promote feelings of pleasure and happiness. Different types of touch can evoke varying emotional responses; for instance, a light touch can feel playful, while a firmer grip can signify desire.

Then we have verbal foreplay, which involves the use of words to entice or arouse a partner. This can range from sweet nothings to more explicit language. Psychologically, people are drawn to verbal cues as they can enhance intimacy and create a sense of safety, allowing individuals to express their desires and fantasies without judgment.”

Huh! That’s really insightful! But why do you think some people prefer specific types of foreplay?

Great question, Mr Ishimaru! Attraction to specific forms of foreplay can stem from individual experiences and personal preferences.

For instance, someone might enjoy kissing because of past positive associations, while another person might prefer touch due to its physical nature. Additionally, cultural influences and personal comfort levels play significant roles in shaping these preferences.

Wow...I...really expected him to throw a whole bunch of innuendos in there, but...

Yeah, this feels like an actual sex ed class...

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

Ok, let´s see: the incident who happened when Paul was with a girl and John destroyed her dress, who is very confucing; some songs of Paul (well lots of songs) who can be related about this (from the obvious Here Today to The Lovers who Never Were) the interminable descriptions of the beautiful hands of one, the handsome presence of the other, etc...the "if you were a girl" moment ( who i can´t remember when, but was one of my first pieces of suspiction XD) all the pinning (from both of them, but Paul even more...he still dreams with him sometimes)...the weird "fanfiction" where appear amie d´mitril and Paris...

...someone said me in Discord "There are some men who are boyfriends and don't realize it until they break up" after showing an iceberg with some Mclennon theories. Someone who no was even into it.

Im kinda agnostic about all this, but im really amazed about all the theories who exist about this, who the doubts and suspictions are really understable. Is a lot on info!

Are you asking me to rate this for the ask game, because most of these are verifiable things, the question is just what they mean/what led to them, right?

I can give you a personal take on all of them though.

John cutting up the girl Paul was having sex with's clothes: I 100% find this eyebrow-raising and quite possibly an act of jealousy. But I also can't discount that John was likely off his face and maybe his reason for doing that didn't really make sense either. (e.g. maybe he wanted to use the bedroom and thought up a way to get rid of the girl as fast as possible? I don't know, I just don't think there's enough information to be sure of his motivations)

Songs: I generally find it kind of exhausting to argue about song meanings and what they reveal about John and Paul's relationship without anything else to go on. I feel like songs don't have to be about them for them to have had Feelings™ for each other and also songs could be about them and be less literal than some people think. There can be emotions and themes inspired by the other that find their way into a song, without the song literally describing what happened. What I mean by this is I don't think it's at all impossible However Absurd (of which I've read the lyrics, to be clear) is in some sense about John but I wouldn't from that conclude that John and Paul literally made love. And if I'm not drawing these conclusions, it's less important to me whether However Absurd is about John or not, in that sense.

Beautiful hands: I do want to slightly push back against describing Paul's geberal speech pattern with words like "interminable". Tumblr deliberately picks out the most ~mclennon-y~ things from his interviews and shares these quotes over and over. (also thinking of last year when people were claiming most of the Eyes of the Storm book was John, when really those were just the pictures people shared around the most) That's not to say he doesn't bring up John a lot (lol) but I think he probably mentions John's hands specifically less often than some think. The thing is, the main quote people use regarding this, is the one where Paul directly compares John's hands to his son's. Unless you wanna argue Paul is into James, you have to conclude Paul finds hands aesthetically pleasing and interesting without necessarily being attracted to them. And showing John chords and playing guitar "mirrored" actually makes a lot of sense as something that would make Paul notice John's hands.

Handsome presence of the other: your mileage may vary here and it depends on the specific quote. Some I agree, and some are imo them both just being frank about the fact that physical attraction matters to people, even when you aren't personally physically attracted to them.

"If I had been a woman...": single best argument for reciprocated McLennon IMO. I also think it's very possible that Paul is observing the fact that romantic relationships are hierarchically placed above friendships and "the bro code" prevented Paul from doing anything about John's privileging of Yoko over him. But it could definitely Also be Paul saying "I would like to have gotten together with him".

Pining: Honestly, I think they both had a lot of reason to feel Weird about each other in the seventies. There was a lot of bad blood but also a lot bonding them in an almost cosmic way: the shared trauma of losing a mother AND of fame, the weirdness of being both pitted against each other and sold to the public as a package deal... I think they were ripe for the conflicted pining picking. Regarding Paul's behaviour NOW.... I don't know, I don't think it's weird at all that he still sometimes dreams about John. I think he talks about John in part because that's what people want to hear (and tumblr pretends to be surprised every time when they're part of the target audience lol) and also I think.... people sometimes sort of gloss over the fact that Paul literally lost John in a highly traumatic way? Maybe that's gonna make him A Little Weird. (most of this is neither here nor there, regarding their romantic feelings for each other by the way)

Amie in Paris:

I haven't read the story in full but I feel similarly here to how I feel about the songs I think. There might be an argument that John is less prone to fictionalizing than Paul (though... I don't think that applies to his prose, even if autobiographical elements can be found in it) but he's also joking half the time. It doesn't to me feel like an especially fruitful avenue to conclude things about John's life.

All in all, I know what you mean. I do think there's A Lot going on between them, however you parse it.

[jiareads]

— THE GRIM REAPER'S LAWYER by MEA MONIQUE . a review

rating: 1/5 mimosas

cw: spoilers, mentions of violence, alcohol abuse, childhood trauma

i have to start by saying i went in with high hopes and left understanding why shady goodreads users have a saying that goes something along the lines of 'well, this is definitely a kindle unlimited book'.

i'm not a literary snob, but the speed at which the quality nosedives is brutal. the book starts off strong—joyce’s introduction is engaging—but before i know it, i’m reading something that feels like a mcfly fanfiction i wrote when i was 14.

my biggest gripe with this book is the lack of character consistency. none of the characters are given the time or space to develop - not a single one. this is especially true for the main characters, to the point where their actions often contradict who we’re told they are. joyce is presented as a crème-de-la-crème lawyer (at 30, which is unrealistic and brings up the broader issue of sidelining older characters in romance, but that's a rant for another day). yet, throughout the story, she is childish as fuck, dumbing herself down, and makes terrible decisions with no logical reason behind them. sure, characters can be complex, but are we seriously supposed to believe this is the same lawyer who saved afterlife llc from a coup d'état?

aiden, aka mr. grim reaper, doesn’t fare much better. even by the end, he’s still giving off the vibe of those tiktok boyfriends who do mask kink asmr and overall he just doesn't have a consistent personality. how, as someone whose backstory includes dying because of a drunk driver, does he just overlook joyce’s drinking habits? that could’ve been a real moment of growth in their relationship, but instead, it’s a missed opportunity.

another issue is how the book starts situations but never bothers to finish them or make them matter. one quick example is a part in the book where joyce's case notes and documents are not only stolen by someone who breaks into her apartment but her friend also gets physically assaulted in the process. this incident happens and it ends. there is no repercussion or impact to the story even tho it should've mattered.

another example would be the veronica situation. joyce doesn’t hang up after a call, and veronica ends up overhearing joyce and aiden taking a first class flight to poundtown. there’s no way you can convince me joyce - a supposedly headstrong, independent, mind-your-business woman - would be totally fine with some rando overhearing her and aiden having sex, much less joke about it multiple times afterward. it just doesn’t add up with who we’re supposed to believe she is.

one of my biggest pet peeves with this book is that it tells more than it shows. there's way too much emphasis on how joyce is attracted to or horny for aiden—pages that could’ve been used to develop literally anything else. instead, we get endless descriptions of how joyce dresses and how her outfits flatter her body (huge flashbacks to my fanfic days—if this book had links, there would definitely be one to a polyvore outfit collage). and we’re constantly told how smart joyce is and how everyone is in awe of her intelligence, but her actions rarely reflect that.

the friendships don’t feel sincere, the villain’s motives are laughable, and even the central romance doesn’t really romance.

i pushed through to the end because i have a habit of sticking with things that don’t do me any good (yes, i have a therapist), but i can’t recommend this. it was a painful read.

[onetiny-inkdropuniverse]

Why I write smut (A deeply personal, surprisingly wholesome rant)

**WARNING: Obviously this is a discussion about sex.**

So, I'm a freshman in college. Throughout late middle school/high school, I was like, the *perfect* student. I kind of still am. I never broke rules, I was an angel, I was the top of my class... and as a result, I heavily... de-sexualized myself to the outside world? Like, stay with me here. To the *outside* world, I presented myself like a catholic nun, I didn't swear, I dressed like really modestly, I never wore makeup, and it wasn't because I was told to. Plenty of my friends did these things, but I just... never did. And because I never did, my parents kind of gained that expectation that I was their sweet summer child, innocent and untainted, and kind of so did everyone else. I kind of became babied by a lot of people, and it was frustrating.

Because, even though I wasn't raised super religious or anything, I was raised with kind of the unsaid norm that sexuality was something to be repressed, that it was something bad. Teenage girls who dated other people were "vapid" and "stupid", and because I was "intelligent", I shouldn't even care about that kind of thing.

I never dated in high school, I had my first kiss the summer after graduation, and it was a bad experience. Now, contrast this to my inner life. I realized I was bisexual at around age 13, and it was thanks to the glorious help of mature-rated fanfiction. I spent a large portion of my high school years being extremely horny (read: sexually frustrated) because I thought it was weird to masturbate.

When I finally decided to do so, I did it all the freaking time (ha ha ha) and then I felt ashamed because I thought I was some sexual deviant or I was sick in the head for how often I did. When I started finding people in my classes very hot (and hence started fantasizing about them) I felt even more ashamed for imagining that kind of thing. And then, I re-united with fanfiction sometime in my junior year of high school, and... it healed me. The sex-positive, no-shame nature of platforms like AO3 and communities like this one showed me that I was not weird or wrong for thinking what I thought or liking what/who I liked. And so, about a month ago, when I was looking through my writing as a teenager and found an old draft of mine talking about being extremely ashamed for fantasizing about another girl, I immediately thought of writing my current most-popular piece of work on AO3, "I'll Try Anything Once": "But sexual attraction was so much worse... It felt like such an invasion of other people’s privacy, such a barbaric thing to succumb to or even think about. It didn’t help that Nico was gay. Or alone. Or starved from any kind of physical touch...

So Nico suppressed it. He pushed it so deep deep down, more unspeakable than anything else, below his trauma and guilt and fear. All the way at the deepest point of Nico’s mental Tartarus: his shame."

And so, that slowly evolved into me basically writing multiple stories at once: About some of my OTPs learning to let go of a world of stigma.

So why do I write smut? Well, because sometimes we all get horny. But on a deeper level, I write smut (and angst, actually, and fluff) because I wanted to model both the painful and painfully real experience of real people, and also model what we should all strive for. So, yeah, I'm one of those authors who writes mature content knowing full well that underage teens are probably a large portion out of thousands so far who are reading it. And I'm okay with that. If anything, if I'm being totally honest, I kind of write it for them. Showcasing real experiences (See: Leo in my fic "Keep Moving to Escape the Pain" having an awful first-kiss experience) and modeling ideal experiences (The "first time" scene in "I'll Try Anything Once") are two sides of the same coin to me. They both help readers recognize their own lived experience as real and valid and okay and also see what they should look for in the future. So that's my little rant. Be gay, do crimes. Much love, Inkdrop

[more-than-a-princess]

Happy Munday! I've added quite a few new mutuals over the past 1-2 months and I wanted to take the time to say hello to everyone and share a few guidelines/updates about my blog. If you've been here for awhile, this is probably nothing new for you, but I just wanted to reiterate a few things:

Your mun is old and works in a demanding 9 to 5 job that is anything but 9 to 5. I also just got a raise this past month (a very substantial one! yay!) with a title promotion on the way which will leave me in a more senior role at work with direct reports. In short: During 9 AM - 5 PM EST hours, I usually can't reply to direct messages quickly or participate on the dash.

I write. A lot. Long multi-paragraphs are the norm with the occasional novella and fanfiction-esque drabbles as needed to move the plot along. I never ask writing partners to match my length exactly but I usually can't write with one-liners or single-paragraph posts (unless it's silly dashcomm crack that exists outside of our ongoing threads!).

I tend to use a queue and post once a day for thread replies, more when I have enough replies or starters to queue. I try to space these out between muns who reply within 24-48 hours and muns that take a bit more time to keep me from feeling overwhelmed.

I use small text to conserve space, but multiple spaces between words, underlined text, and colored text are hard for me to read and will delay my replies to you.

If I'm writing with you, I dig your portrayal.

Despair!verse threads are few and far between, and right now, on hold. I reference a lot of what happened during The Tragedy in my post-Despair verse, but Despair!verse content is my least favorite to write.

And a few more notes about interactions/plotting/shipping:

I love memes (sending and receiving them), plotting for long-term storylines, and plotting to write a starter! I do not love being tagged in random starters.

Sonia is a slow-burn muse. Even if she does feel attraction at first sight (aka. Gundham Tanaka), she is not quick to enter a relationship (emotional or physical) or admit feelings. Every romantic ship with her will take time to develop (just ask my mutuals whom I do have existing or plotted ships with!).

Ships are all based on chemistry. And alongside my love with writing with OC and crossover muses, I love writing ships with OC and crossover muses.

If you want to write a ship with Sonia, please send me a message and ask! This is what I do when I feel like there's chemistry between muses and a romantic ship could be interesting to write.

As far as Danganronpa muses go, I do have tiers and preferences for ships with Sonia (I made a list, I'm organized! If there's interest I'll share it), but they all must be based, ultimately, on chemistry with my writing partner's take on their muse.

Smut is not a priority on this blog. If I'm writing smut, it's part of another thread and a larger storyline. I'm not a fan of sharing or sending smut starter memes as they just don't interest me: if I'm writing a sex scene, it's because it's part of larger, often plotted interaction.

If you read to the end, thank you! I appreciate it. I'm slowly getting to my replies as I work on preparing costumes for a convention at the end of the month. Besides writing, cosplay is my other big hobby: I'm planning on bringing 8 outfits and it's a lot of planning, some crafting, mostly panicking (as one does before a con).

[i-am-minty-fresh]

Are you asking questions to feel superior then? You don’t seem to want the answers so I’m assuming is like an…ego thing?

I like Zolu? That’s what the post was about? It’s about the fact that people who ship Zosan also tend to ship Zolu? Zolu is not just charming but has deep meaningful connections between the characters brought on by their similar drive and loyalty to their crew and their dreams and each other. They’re two halves of the same coin and the story that their love for each other tells is both a tale as old as time, and a unique twist that endures you to both characters individually and as live-long companions.

Zoro’s character is about devotion and putting everything he has into his dream until there’s nothing left but Luffy helps share that burden.

Luffy’s character doesn’t believe in life-sacrifice. It’s no use dying for a future you’ll never get to see. Zoro helps Luffy with his structure as captain of the ship (Water 7), which he doesn’t have because he operates almost inclusively as a representation of childhood love (which includes a willingness to forgive and forget), but that isn’t how a ship can operate so Zoro helps regulate that.

They carry each other, they rely on each other, and they have complete and utter faith in each other in a way that makes their connection often both plot-relevant and meaningful.

I’m reading the same manga as you, I watched the same anime as you. I didn’t miss anything. They love each other, romantically or platonically is up to interpretation, but they love each none the less.

All the strawhats have incredibly complex and integral relationships that bring out the best in each other, and I don’t think anyone’s arguing that none are quite as explicit as Zoro and Luffy’s but all are important.

That includes the relationship that Zoro and Sanji have.

Personal preference aside I’m not going to let you minimize their relationship within the canon. Are they dating? No. Are they hopeless in love with each other? No. Are they romantically interested in each other at all? Obviously not. But their dynamic is telling an interesting story I feel like you’re ignoring.

Like @li-binauje-artisse said, arguing about which ship is more canon when neither can be canon is like arguing which number’s closest to zero when the only numbers that matter are positive numbers and we both have negative numbers. Sure -2 is closer than -10 but by them being negative means the numbers are equally as irrelevant.

I never said Zolu was stupid, I actually called it cute and healthy and easier to draw religious symbolism from poetically. I called it adorable and a tale as old as time. I’m reblogging Zolu fanart and bookmarking Zolu fanfiction like I’ve got a quota to meet by midnight tonight.

Zolu fans act like Zosan ruined their show…it doesn’t. You know people ship Sanji and Ace right? They’re tumblr’s hottest men and they’ve had like zero screen time…are those people reading into everything to just get two sexy guys to kiss? Maybe, who cares!

I watch the show without any romantic pairings because I’m aro/ace! I’m sex-repulsed, dude! Imagining Sanji and Zoro having sex makes me feel physically ill. Same with Luffy and Zoro. It’s all gross. I’m attracted to none of these characters. So why do I like Zosan? If you take away all the sex appeal, and all the worn out romance tropes, and all the headcanons…why would someone like Zosan? I can tell you why if you want, but you seem very comfortable in your amatonormativity.

I love how Zosan shippers also typically like Zolu. Zolu has the same general stupidity but it’s so much cuter. It’s easier to make religious imagery, and it’s easier to draw healthy conclusions to…but Zosan…

It’s got drama, it’s got anger issues, it’s got feelings of insecurity, it’s got unhealthy coping mechanisms, it’s got devotion, it’s got bloodlust, it’s got the whole crew pulling their hair out because they were fighting a second ago and now they’re making out while taking breaths to still make fun of each other.

Think of the crew in a Zosan universe. It’s the top gossip. Zoro falling for his captain and Luffy falling for his first mate? Adorable, predictable, a tale as old as time. Zoro falling for the flirtatious cook with anger issues and Sanji falling for the directionless swordsman who never showers? Think about the other straw hats gossiping about it, think about the news coos definitely snapping pictures of them yelling at each other and then wrapping each other wounds after a nasty spat. It would be the biggest scandal since Cross Guild and if I was a citizen in the One Piece universe I would pay for a special edition newspaper all about what’s been going on with them recently with headlines like, “Zoro and Sanji finally breaking up for good?!?! Strawhat chef says he’s ‘done with the ugly swordsman’ Could this be it for our on-again-off-again-pirate lovers?!?”

The next edition would be like, “A pirate marriage! Sanji and Zoro finally tying the knot?!” And I’d be hooked on every fucking word.

@certain-arcade-dinosaur this is all of my thoughts and feelings on the matter (this is a lie I could talk about these dipshits til I croak)

[notnctu]

switchin’ lanes - l.jn | ridin’ club

━ welcome to the ridin’ club smut series 

genre ➠ slow burn, smut, pwp???, fluff (if u squint) wordcount ➠ 8.3k details ➠  fem!reader, streetracer!jeno, badboy!jeno, college!au,  ━ where you and jeno are in a relationship, but not with each other. warnings ➠ explicit language, cheating, flirty banter, alcohol consumption, drugs, yall at a party, physical fighting (not with you), mentions of cuts/bruises, hickeys, drunk public dry humping, thigh riding, fingering, oral (f/receiving) synopsis ➠ If your boyfriend didn’t decide to join such a stupid unofficial club, then maybe you wouldn’t be in such a sticky situation where Lee Jeno is literally knuckles deep in your sticky situation as he drives you home. Or maybe if your boyfriend actually touched you, then you wouldn’t be seeking it from someone else, who can’t keep his hands off of you. taglist ➠ @rabbit-doyochi ; @darkneogotmyback ; @im-lame-irl ; @p-mini ; @niniluvsmarkhyuck ; @saniahmichael ; @jaehy9ngs ; @danyxthirstae01 ; @jaehyunoos ; @pikijaemin ; @suhweo​ ; @dearlyminhyung​

a/n ➠ hi yall its author doie❀!! i hope you enjoy the series pls leave me feedback lmaoo ill literally take anything. we also hit a milestone for followers and honestly its so crazy to know how quickly this tiny sideblog has grown! we’re so thankful that yall follow us, thank u for lovin us and we will try our best to put out more content!! also through the lens hit 1k notes how is that even possible like wow im speechless thank u for everyone who left such kind comments i treasure every form of feedback :) 

The heavy double doors of the classroom stare tauntingly at you. The evening setting in, painting the sky with strokes of orange and pink. You managed to remain complaint free the entire day, until your forgetful boyfriend canceled on you because of a club meeting. A meeting for an unofficial club on campus because it is illegal to street race. A club consists of delinquents that are obsessed with cars and steal your boyfriend away from you. 

This is the fifth time this week that your boyfriend stood you up or coincidentally forgot your dates. You can’t remember the last time he physically stood in front of you and not through a phone screen. However, it is not completely the stupid club’s fault that your boyfriend has neglected you. 

He truly is the worst boyfriend ever. He blames everything on his bad memory and does not prioritize you in his life. He loves one thing --- his car. You could be lying in a hospital bed, and he wouldn’t care to check up on you. 

So why did you stay with him? Because you’re scared of being alone? Possibly, but it is a can of worms that you did not want to open just yet. Sex is definitely not the reason you stay with him. He hasn’t touched you sexually since the first and now, last time you two slept together. 

You try your best, to only be waved off with a yawn. He doesn’t compliment you. He doesn’t look at you lovingly. He doesn’t even kiss you for longer than two seconds. You are a toppling tower, ready to crumble at any given moment.

The anger in your body fuels you as you pull the door open to reveal several men in leather jackets chatting away with each other. One by one, they all begin to lay their eyes on who abruptly interrupted their joyous conversations. Your eyes scan the room full of intimidating men, whose auras cause a shiver to run down your spine.

Your boyfriend is nowhere in sight, given that there are plenty enough guys who have the ability to cover him. You walk into the open space and the entire mood of the room shifts. 

Heavy cologne and a deafening silence fill the air. One particular male, who has been eyeing you the entire time, gets up and walks towards you. 

“Are you lost, baby?” Scoffs and chuckles sparsely cover the corners of the room. The unknown male has a jarring cut on his eyebrow, matching a small bruise on his upper cheekbone. 

“I’m looking for my boyfriend…” Your weak voice trails off from the sudden attractive male intimidation. The tall man peers around the room, crossing his arms.

“If you are this beautiful woman’s boyfriend, please fucking come out now. It’s very rude to keep your girl waiting for you!” Initially, his low throaty shout startles you. A heavy heat falls on your cheeks when you register his choice of adjectives.

The whole room falls silent once more, before your pitiful boyfriend steps out from between two bulkier men. “Hey babe, what are you doing here?” His eyes nervously bounce around the room, a shaky laughter erupting from his gut. 

“Sorry, Jeno. I didn’t mean to cause such a scene. I didn’t even see her come in.”

Like a trigger, you remember your intentions for storming in uninvited. Jeno gauges your flaming reaction to your boyfriend’s apologetic words. He nods, not out of acceptance of the apology, but out of disbelief.

He pulls your boyfriend by the collar of his white shirt and your eye widens at the condescending tone that causes your boyfriend to cower, “I’m not the one to apologize to.” With a careless toss, your boyfriend ends up shaking in front of you.

“Jeno is not the only one you should be scared of.” You whisper angrily to him as the rest of the room continues on with their previous chatter. 

Your boyfriend rolls his eyes, “listen, Jeno’s been arrested before. You don’t want to get on that man’s bad side.” 

Your eyes wander behind your boyfriend’s hunching shoulders, catching Jeno steal peeks at you too. There is no interest in the other rambling male that stands in front of him. He just wants to check you out a bit more. 

He is the hottest person you’ve ever gotten the attention of. You feel flustered, and a bit flattered at his lingering gaze. His brown hair is slicked back messily, giving you more to admire. Jeno is an absolute cliche from a bad boy fanfiction. He is unreal, and the odd chance that he can’t keep his eyes off of you, is also unreal. 

But with a light nudge from a blue haired fellow, Jeno’s eyes peel away from your’s. They exchange a few words, which then propels Jeno to hurriedly put on his slightly tattered leather jacket.

You lick your lips to the sight of his body lines as he stands up to follow his friend, but not without another look back at you. Noticing your stare still on him, he bids you a tiny wave goodbye with a smirk to die for. And like that, he’s gone. 

“Are you listening to me?” Your boyfriend’s voice finally reaches your reality. Your focus shifts to the obviously irritated expression on his face. 

“I guess, I’m not. Don’t fucking stand me up again or I will key your car.” You aren’t actually those kinds of girls, but your boyfriend didn’t take a threat seriously unless it involves his highly treasured car. 

And like Jeno, you also make your exit out of the steamy room. The chilly night brush against your unknowingly hot cheeks. Then, you take yourself to the only unhealthy coping mechanism you can think of: a place of free alcohol and no boyfriend.

It takes you a few months to completely stop caring about your dying relationship. You figure how easy it is for your boyfriend to do it, so you make the same decision.

He spends his nights with his friends he made from his club, and has totally become a self proclaimed car enthusiast. You lose yourself in copious amounts of cheap alcohol at your local parties and it’s almost like you stop sulking over a man who kisses his car goodnight.

While being alone did not bother you as much as you had been dreading, the sexual frustration is a completely different issue. You are absolutely drooling whenever your eyes find Jeno in the crowds of sweaty bodies.

If there is one good thing that came out of your boyfriend’s membership in that club, it had to be Lee Jeno and a few other notable people who attended the same parties as you.

He became a very close acquaintance, and you had learned some very important names associated with the Ridin’ Club. Na Jaemin, Lee Haechan, and Huang Renjun. But the three could not compare to the kindhearted Jeno that makes butterflies stir in your lower abdomen. 

Over the months, you also had learned rather quickly that your sexually clouded mind had tricked you previously into thinking that Jeno’s stares were full of lust for you. His girlfriend makes it clear that it isn’t the case.

Although you have caught the couple making out several times when trying to use the bathroom, your feverish, impure attraction toward Jeno never calmed down.

“You’re looking very tempting tonight, baby.” Jeno’s beaming eye smile greets you, even after completely undressing you with his gaze. His arms are wide open to embrace your warm body. 

The parties are always too hot to wear a fully clothed outfit. You often settle for a cute tank top and a short skirt to prevent your legs from collecting extra moisture. Jeno, without a fail, shows up in black jeans that clad his lower half, tucked with a simple white shirt. His tattoos and toned arms being on full display for you to admire. 

“Better make sure your actual baby doesn’t hear that.” The loud beats of the music make Jeno’s chuckle almost inaudible, but his expression remains cheerful, as per usual. “Did you get into another fight?” 

The fresh wound cut through his smooth complexion, which will eventually join the rest of his collection of fading scars. He mindlessly grazes over the new bandaging and dramatically winces. Clearly concerned, you grab his hand away from the injury. “Don’t touch it, stupid.”

His smile curves into a sly smirk, as he intertwines your fingers and kisses the back of your hand. “It doesn’t hurt at all.” His chest heaves into a fit of giggles, “just wanted to see you care for me.” 

Groaning, you shake his massive hand off of your’s. “Very funny. I should start charging you for my attention.” 

“Name your price, I got all the money in the world for you.” He winks, while lightly pinching your cheek. You are lying to yourself if you thought you could ever stay away from him. Jeno stirs up a part of you that craves the cheesy nicknames, flirty comments and the undivided attention. 

He motions you to follow him into the mess of people. Almost as if he’s a god, the crowd parts for you two to walk through without unnecessary extra bodies. The fear that settles in many individuals’ chest is understandable.

Like your first impression, Jeno is a complete walking fanfiction trope. He negotiates better with his fists, usually with good reason. The guns of the Ridin’ Club, though, his friends are very much to be feared as well. They will not hesitate to run someone over, if given the heated situation to do so. And most definitely, you can count them to be backing up their fighter, Jeno. 

You had not been mindful before of the chatter that regarded the secret Ridin’ Club. They are notorious for fast paced very illegal races in the middle of nowhere destinations and tempers that aren’t meant to be provoked. Besides their intimidating aura, it melts away after getting to know them.

Lee Haechan, the most annoying brat, but has the strongest, the most loyal bond to his boys. He’s also notably funny, often making you laugh with an exchange of banter.

Huang Renjun, the whiniest and initially quiet boy, but grows to be one of the loudest and will chew you out if anyone dares try engaging in verbal combat. 

Na Jaemin, the flirty playboy who always has a swarm of girls, but the gentlest man with a soft spot for cute things. 

And finally, Lee Jeno, the owner of your nights. He is the friendliest of them all, despite him being the toughest one. While his stare can kill, melting away his layers reveal the warmest heart. Not that Jeno is the only one to show initial interest in you, but he is the most considerate to the people he holds close to him.

He has taken care of you for many drunk nights and watched protectively over your intoxicated figure in the crowds. He makes you feel safe and seen, which are some of the many reasons you are entirely attracted to him.

“(Y/N)!” Jaemin’s scream pierce your ears the moment the blueberry catches your eye. He excitedly nudges the other two boys, who are busy pouring drinks into red cups.

“You’re going to make me spill it, idiot!” Renjun grumbles, but looks up to see your dazzling smile and tremendous excitement. His own smile grows, “so the life of the party finally decided to say hi.”

“Hi, my fanclub. I appreciate the long awaited greeting.” Your over the top, sarcasm causes all of them to chime loudly. Haechan hands you a cup and wraps his arm around your shoulders. 

Jeno joins you at your side and the five of you clink your drinks to the ceiling. A fit of yells over the music and a competition of who can finish first. As per usual, you set your cup down after draining the entirety. The others are still chugging the burning liquid down their throats. 

Haechan coughs after dropping his cup onto the counter. His face is twisted with the most disgusted contour, “I don’t know how you do it, (Y/N).”

“I already drank more than you guys, so it just tastes like water now.” You scream over the loud music. Jeno, Jaemin and Renjun toss their empty cups into the sink. 

At this rate, you are completely blindsided by the effects of the alcohol as your legs give out to gravity. Jeno catches you quickly, holding your elbows and your head is placed on his shoulder. Jaemin chuckles lovingly, before helping Jeno balance you against the island. Your head feels heavy on your shoulders, as the room spins in front of you. 

“You good?” Haechan pats your head gently, whispering close to you.

“I---” You try catching your breath after being winded. “--It’s hitting me now.”

Jeno wraps his arm around your lower waist to draw you close to him, “want to go sit down?” He mumbles into your hair. You nod, Jeno and Renjun supporting your limp body to walk over to the couch.

The dark living room is lit up only by colorful led lights, but it is not enough to make out much of anything. Everyone is in their own world, dancing and socializing within their own selves. The two men set you down on the cushion, but your impulse catches onto Jeno’s wrist before he leaves. Renjun is already lost in the crowd.

“Can I sit on your lap?” You pout cutely, all the shame in your body has been displaced with courage. Jeno’s eyes soften at your sudden request, and kisses the top of your forehead.

“The throne is all yours.” He says as he sits at your side and pulls you on top of his thick thighs. His arm is loosely dangling around your waist, resting on top of your thighs. 

The intimate position causes your mind to wander into dark thoughts. His strong, sturdy legs feel delicious against your clothed core. While you’ve been in this position once before, you could never forget how protected, yet very horny it makes you feel. 

“What’s on your mind, (y/n)?” Jeno’s deep voice brushes against your bare shoulder and you feel his chest press against your back. “You’ve been pretty silent tonight.”

You turn slightly to face him, “if I told you, I’m scared it would ruin things between us.”

“There’s nothing in the world that can hold me back from you.” He is always so quick to spill such alluring words. His soft lips graze lightly on your skin as his sparkling eyes look up at your expression.

All it takes is one more tiny kiss on your arm to get you grabbing his face, drawing him into a steamy, long awaited kiss. Surprisingly, he kisses you back, open mouth and tongue lapping with your’s. His hands reposition your legs to where you straddle him. Your faces dive deeper into each other’s as the kiss continues to intensify.

Jeno’s lips still have a hint of alcohol, but he mostly tastes like mint gum. And they are comparable to a cloud, the softest lips you have ever made out with. It is like kissing pure heaven, completely different from your boyfriend’s two second pecks. Jeno devours you in a needy way, like he’s been waiting to explore the wonders of your lips. 

However, you pull away when you feel the vibration of his phone against your inner thigh, almost like a wake up call. As if all the liquid courage disappeared, you blink back in shock at Jeno’s plump wet lips. The thought of his girlfriend crosses your mind, and maybe slight guilt for your own boyfriend fills your system.

You quickly start getting up from his hot body, “fuck, I’m so sorry..” But his hands pull you back onto him, your legs finding their way open above his thighs again. 

“Don’t be, I’ve always wondered what your lips would taste like.” A smirk, then a hearty chuckle relaxes your contracting nerves at the potential of a ruined friendship. 

“But, your girlfriend..” Your tiny voice trails off and Jeno picks up your chin. His fingers rubbing along your jawline.

His eyes do another lap around your features. He admires your averting shy eyes, your beautiful lips, and how they all come together to make a stunning you. 

There is no doubt in Jeno’s mind that he is very attracted to you. He knew it the moment you barged into the club meeting. You are his type of woman, a good mixture of confident and timidness. You like to have some fun, and aren't afraid to be bold. Not to mention, that you are incredibly hot and every time you flirt back just makes him melt inside.

“She won’t care. She hooks up with people all the time.” It puzzles you, all this time you had been holding yourself back from Jeno because he has a girlfriend. All to find out that the relationship isn’t as serious as you thought it to be.

“I know, it doesn’t make sense. But we aren’t two people to be tied down, but at the same time, we like each other enough to want to stay together.”

Your confused expression causes Jeno to laugh and ask, “what’s the dilemma with your boyfriend?”

Rolling your eyes at the mention of your boyfriend, you sigh, “it’s like we’re still together, but we aren’t at the same time. We’ve abandoned the relationship unknowingly.”

Jeno runs a warm hand up and down your thigh, while he listens intently to you. He nods, grabbing your waist to pull you over his groin. “I’m sorry to hear that.” 

“No, he’s a shitty person and an even shittier boyfriend. We literally haven’t fucked for the past year. I’m practically a virgin again.” His hand automatically gives your thigh a light squeeze.

Jeno’s eyes light up as you quickly cover your mouth out of embarrassment. A devilish smirk raises his cheekbone, and lust clouds his mind. Gauging his reaction, your cheeks turn hot.

“We’ll have to change that, don’t we? My baby must be all kinds of frustrated. Tell me, do you like when I touch you then?” Jeno drops in tempo, usually when he wants to be more intimidating with a deeper voice. 

You clear your throat intending to speak, but you can only nod your head in response. “C’mon, (Y/N). Use your words, like a big girl.” Even with the loud music and continuous chatter, you can hear Jeno‘s taunting whisper. 

His words tickle your collarbone as he runs his lips against your neck. Your heart is pumping rapidly at the turn of events, as if the possibility of having something beyond a kiss from Jeno is more than possible at this rate. 

Jeno enjoys your small whimpers as he marks your neck with purple love bites. Right in the center of the crowded room, Lee Jeno is just casually giving you hickeys.

“Yes, I love that you can’t keep your hands off of me.” 

Almost immediately, you can feel his lips curve into a smile on your skin. Pop! Jeno marvels the darkness against your skin in the mood lighting. A small part of him hopes you do end up seeing your boyfriend sometime soon, so he can see who you really belong to.

“How about we try touching like this?” Jeno pushes you down hard against his pelvis, the veins on his hands becoming evident from the grip and the tiny drawings permanently staining his fingers.

You gasp the moment you feel Jeno’s hip begin to move underneath you to the beat of the song. He rolls your hips rhythmically to match his speed. His clothed hard on can be felt through the only barrier you have on --- your panties.

The thin fabric is soon drenched in your juices after the continuous friction up and down his length. You throw your head back to every bump against your clit, the electrifying feeling enact more of your wetness to puddle. 

You can’t believe you were grinding against Jeno in the middle of a full party, as if his friends aren’t a few feet away. It is a good thing that your skirt pools around both of your waists to conceal the dirty deed underneath.

Jeno’s lip escapes under his top row of teeth as he rubs his clothed length against your barely covered pussy. He can feel his jeans dampening from your wetness and his eyes roll to the back of his head from how the feeling of wanting you consumes his body. He really becomes uncontrollable when it comes to you. 

This is the most sexual activity you have had with another person for over a year. Jeno just looks absolutely heavenly intoxicated with lust, and your mouth waters at how big his cock must be. You can feel his length the harder Jeno rolls against you, and it is definitely bigger than your boyfriend’s. 

You are trying so hard to stay quiet and unnoticeable, but the pleasure seeps out every crevice. Jeno is trained on you as your hand reaches up to cover your mouth, the muffled whimpers escaping your lips uncontrollably.

“I’m so close.” You admit, your body jolting every time his jean button grazes against your sensitive bud.

Jeno moves you over his thigh, forgetting his incredibly hard dick straining in his jeans. As long as you are satisfied, he can care less about his own pleasure. A low scream erupts from your throat when he flexes against you. 

His thigh is much more stable, with more control for consistency. You quickly notice the dark, wet spot on his jeans and you blush even harder. Your underwear clings onto you from the excessive moisture, but Jeno continues to help you finish.

The strands of hair cover your face, but Jeno needs to see your fucked out expression. He is taken aback when you start riding his thigh faster, grinding harder without the aid of his hands.

His mouth hangs slightly open in awe at your neediness, he truly did not know the extent of your sexual frustrations. Oh, but how he is incredibly turned on by you getting off on him. 

“I want you to cum for me, you deserve it.” Jeno brings you in for another passionate kiss. The mixture of his tongue sucking harshly on yours, and the friction on your clit are more than enough to reach your climax. 

Your legs clenched tightly around Jeno’s thigh. The small knot in your stomach that built, drops like the beat playing in the background. The feeling of white is familiar, but it is more intense than when you would touch yourself. You are finally receiving the pleasure from someone else’s touch, someone who wants you to unravel for him.

Jeno pulls away from your lips, kissing down your neck and collarbones as your chest heaves for air. His palm soothes your shaking legs as your climax subsides. You fall into his arms, and he laughs. The reality that you two just did that publicly registers in both of your minds.

Digging your shy face further into Jeno’s shoulder, he whispers lovingly, “let me drive you home.” 

“Are you still drunk?” The muffled question tickles Jeno’s neck.

“I think you beautifully cumming on my thigh sobered me up.” He jokes and you quickly cover his mouth. Your heart practically stops and you hope no one else heard him.

It is silly that you are now self conscious, as if the whole room didn’t just watch you and Jeno grind on the couch. But, the feeling of embarrassment and regret lingers in your stomach. You mentally thank the dark room for concealing both of your identities.

“I’m sorry for your jeans.” A pout begs for forgiveness as you stare at Jeno’s beaming smile. He takes your hand off of his mouth, not forgetting to give your fingertips a lingering kiss.

“I’m sorry for your boyfriend. He doesn’t know what he’s missing.” Jeno parts your hair from your neck, admiring the marks he left on you. A small sense of pride builds inside of him, accompanied by a tiny bundle of possessiveness.

“Let me say goodbye to the boys and I’ll take you home.” 

Nodding, Jeno carefully lifts you off of him and onto the cushion. He leans over to kiss your cheek. As he gets up, you see the darker shades on his jeans from your doing. However, Jeno is completely unbothered and continues to find his friends.

Now that you are alone, you feel a bit nervous that someone would come up to you and talk about what they saw. Checking your phone, your screen blinds you with absolutely no notifications from your boyfriend. Going on social media is worse, as you scroll to see that your boyfriend posted a photo.

It is a photo of his hot, red polished car. He obnoxiously posed squatting next to the front wheel, his lips puckered up and kissing the rims. With a caption that makes every regret in your body disappear, “with my one and only.” 

The phone is tossed somewhere else, wishing to delete the image from your memory. Your eyes wander around the room, when they spot a suspicious man sneakily dropping a small pill in an unattended drink. He, then, looks up and catches your stare. Caught red handed. 

But the male smugly smirks, “you’re going to pretend you didn’t see that, like how half of this room pretended to not see you grinding on Jeno.” 

“You’re complete scum, I can’t believe you just roofied someone’s drink.” You yell in utter disbelief at the unwavering man. His disgusting smirk changes into a menacing smile.

He approaches you, his height allowing him to tower above. You gulp, scared at how he can easily overpower you at any second.

“And what are you going to do about it? What? Jeno didn’t loosen you up enough?” His revolting hot breath beating down your nose, invading every corner of your personal space. 

Before you can find any insult to speak back, his figure goes flying sideways and out of your face. It’d be a lie to not admit your heart skipping a beat at the sight of Jeno’s clenched fists and locked jaw. His sharp gaze watches as the stranger gets up from the ground, inflammation already growing on his left cheek.

“Dude, what the fuck!” He shouts angrily, holding his cheekbone as he winces at the pain. Immediately, the conversations are replaced with gasps, and small whispers at the sight. People gather around the living room to see the commotion. Even you are unsure how to react to the sudden fight.

The other man lunges at Jeno with full force, but Jeno stops him by grabbing the man’s collar, “this,” Jeno punches his lip, busting it open, “is for dropping a roofie in someone’s drink.”

The stranger groans at the impact, but still gets up with a fist straight for Jeno’s gut. Watching Jeno take a blow is much more difficult than you had been expecting.

He crouches over from the punch, but quickly regains his composure to put the man in a headlock. A few more gasps erupt and wonder if you should stop him before he does something unnecessarily stupid. 

“This,” the man squirms to try to get out of Jeno’s iron grip, “is for disrespecting my babygirl.” And with a shift snap, the male falls limp and unconscious.

A surprised intake of air and Jeno peers up at your scared expression. He calmly walks over to you, ignoring the swarm of people that had gathered around the scene. He can only see one thing — you. Jeno’s wandering eyes try to read your expression, but all he sees is a terrified girl.

“I’m sorry you had to see that, are you okay, (Y/N)?” 

Blinking blankly for a few moments, you are mortified at the laying body, “what did you do to him?” 

Jeno looks back at the stranger casually, “I put him to sleep for a bit. He’ll wake up in about 20 minutes.”

A rush of reassurance washes over you knowing that he is alive and Jeno didn’t just kill someone in front of you. You exhale all the anxiousness and nerves, 

“thank you for stepping in.”

“I don’t fight without a good reason. You are more than a perfect reason to fight for.” He pinches your cheek cutely, and his tough exterior fades away yet again. 

His famous eye smile that warms your insides is back as if the scary, intimidating expression didn’t exist a few seconds ago. Jeno’s good sides only appear with you. Nevertheless, you are happy to know how special you are to see them. 

“Violence is never the answer.” He nods, only taking it for a grain of salt. “Are you okay? It looked like stringbean knocked some wind out of your gut.”

The teddy bear thrusts himself forward into a fit of laughter, his head resting on your lap. His melody lights every dark corner inside of you. “He did get a good punch in there, didn’t he?”

His rumbling laughter stops, and he peers up at you. “I can’t believe you were still worried about a complete asshole.” 

Scoffing, you break the shared gaze. “I’m a compassionate human being.” Jeno stands up, extending his hand for you to take.

“I know, you’re the best kind of person.” He genuinely means it with the way his tone remains quite stern, eye contact unwavering. He is revealing more of his intimate parts, and in return, you wish for him to see your’s. 

Silence drowns out all the commotion between you two. Jeno grows shy at the way the galaxies reflect in your stare. “I--” Never once, did you think you would witness Lee Jeno stammer over his words. “I-I, let’s-- I want to take you for a drive.” 

To Jeno, a drive to him is equivalent to your hand in marriage. Even his own girlfriend has never been on a drive with him. It is a big part of his personality, given that he is a crucial member of the Ridin’ Club. However, out of all of them, he is the last one to flaunt his hobby. It is special, almost sacred to his entire being. 

“Me?” It is the dumbest question to ask, but you really want to clarify his intentions. Before this night, you two were barely considered friends. You two never saw each other outside of the late night parties.

But now, Lee Jeno wants to take you on a drive. It makes you wonder if the desire of companionship is mutual, that he too pines to further your relationship.

“I’m not looking at anyone else,” Jeno still waiting for your hand and holding an intense eye contact. His heart lays exposed for you, just right on his sleeve. An innocence paints his usual intimidating aura, “let me show my special girl, what is special to me.” 

He must possess some magic because he knows every way to make you swoon. And like that, your palm meets his and he locks his fingers between yours. 

The moment you enter Jeno’s striking, eye catching car, you automatically relax into the leather seats. His pristine car matches his personality --- simple, but captivating. Your boyfriend’s car is the exact opposite, which is why you never enjoy sitting in it.

Jeno has pieces of himself that scatter his car, like an adorable small plushie that watches out the back window. A beaded lanyard dangles from his rear view mirror. It even matches his scent of a deep ocean breeze.

Unlike your boyfriend’s obnoxious details, Jeno did not have a light up stereo that flashed annoyingly to every beat drop in a song. Instead, a sweet lilac color illuminates at your feet, along with his. 

“You like what you see?” Jeno catches you astonish at the tiny aspects of the interior. 

“Of course, it’s yours. It’s exactly like how I would imagine it to be.” Jeno is proud, hearing you praise his car. Even he can admit, it is a bit weird to be so connected to an inanimate object.

Nevertheless, his car, racing, driving became a huge part of his life. And unlike his friends, he feels rather shy and slightly embarrassed for being such a geek. 

But hearing you actually appreciating the small details of his car when you probably hate every aspect of racing due to your boyfriend’s doing, it makes him feel very happy.

Maybe happy is an understatement, more like overjoy at how you freely can recognize the things that make him content. You respect him, and are mindful that as mundane as a car is, you know that it is something important to him.

Silence becomes the majority of the ride out of the quiet, suburban neighborhood. While Jeno’s eyes remain focused on the road ahead, you are concentrated on him.

He drives with one hand on the wheel as he rests his elbow on the middle console. His eyebrow creases here and there. It is the most normal, mundane activity anyone can do --- drive. That is all he is doing, yet the effect it suddenly has on you can not go unnoticed. 

Abruptly, with the rev of the engine and a press on the gas, the car practically flies on the empty freeway. It catches you off guard, causing you to hold onto the grab handle. Jeno peeks over at your shocked figure, and smiles to himself.

“Relax, (Y/N).” He calls your name, reaching over to rub your thigh as a way to calm your anxiousness. Automatically, your hand grips onto his for support and the other one drops from the handle. 

Exhaling, your eyes are trained ahead. The car is moving so fast that you can’t even make out anything around you. Everything becomes nothing, but colorful streaks against a dark background. The gravity against your chest feels crushing.

“How-- How fast are you going?” 

Jeno glances at the speedometer and intertwines your fingers into his own. “I don’t think I should tell you that, you might actually have a heart attack.” 

The window rolls down and you are hit with rumbling wind, “I know you’re scared right now, so stick your head out the window and take a deep breath.”

You look at him in pure fear, “what?! I can’t even move, let alone stick my head out the window!”

Jeno shakes his head, “trust me. Please, trust me.” He needs you to experience the same thrill he does. His own adrenaline is through the roof, out the entire atmosphere of the vehicle. The amount of joy he is experiencing became tenfold now that you are sitting beside him. 

You trust him and very meticulously, go against the wind. Your hair crazily dances along with the rush and your eyes water from being dried out. Adjusting to the pressure, you also stick your hand out the window. It whips backward, but you feel the wind slip between your fingers.

The rise in heartbeat and excitement pump through your veins. The beauty in the white streaks that create a runway, it is nothing but you and the open space. There is no other way to explore it, except at a high pace. You understand why Jeno loved it so much. 

Jeno bounces between the road and half of your figure out his window. Your eyes are closed initially, before you barely squint open. Tears fly by with strands of your hair, but you start to move your hand to physically feel the thrill pass between your fingers.

Then he sees it in the side mirror: the sweet curve in your lips he loves the most and the wideness of life in your eyes. It only makes him press the gas harder.

“That was incredible! You should take me riding with you more.” You marvel at him as he starts the route to your place. It is complete playfulness that hints in your tone because you are aware of how sacred these are to him. Nevertheless, a part of you still hopes he agrees to do so.

Jeno nods, “only because I like you,” He pauses, gauging your reaction with his side eye gaze, “a lot.”

Your heart sinks to an unsettling place in your stomach. Jeno could not possibly be serious, however, his tone no longer matches the playfulness of your own. It almost seems like he is telling the truth. But you didn’t want to believe that. 

Your eyes make a full circle before settling at the disappearing sidewalks, “stay in your lane, Jeno.” It is to keep the mood still light, you and Jeno aren’t ones to be serious. 

His hand has been on your thigh for the whole night, whether it be out of habit or comfort. His touch is always welcoming and warm, but suddenly, you feel the small squeeze on your flesh. Turning your attention on his face, you can see how a smirk has grown. 

“But yours seems much more fun.” Immediately, your stomach leaps with somersaults. Your throat gets dry and tight, not anticipating that response. 

“Beside, you can’t act like we both haven’t swerved. It was barely moments ago that you were cum---”

“---No need to further explain.” 

“And I’d proudly do it again.” His voice drops several decibels and his hand slowly snakes it’s way up your thigh. All the while, his eyes still on the road ahead.

You gulp as every heartbeat constricts your throat. Lifting the ends of your skirt higher to expose more, you secretly want Jeno to cause your legs to shake again. “D-Do what again?”

Jeno perks up to the sweetness of curiosity in your tone. He pulls up to a red stoplight, being able to finally look over to your innocent face and needy hands gripping the cute, thin fabric. He stares deeply into your eyes, “make my baby cum.” 

Similarly to the stoplight, you give Jeno the green light to pull your panties to the side. You spread your legs wide as his finger massages your pussy lips. He gets dangerously close to your erect clit, barely skimming over it. 

A needy, yet delicate moan escapes your lips and Jeno’s jaw tightens. He’s more upset that he’s missing the view of your legs spread, open mouth in ecstasy, half lid eyes all in the passenger seat of his car. He hopes for another red light, just so he can peek over at your delicious figure.

“Jeno, please touch me.” Your voice is airy and desperate. He hummed in response, completely withdrawing his hand from your core. However, you catch his wrist and bring it to rest on your inner thigh. “Please.” 

The distinct beg in your tone drives him crazy. As he dips his finger into your sudden wetness, a shiver runs up your spine. Right when he applies minimal pressure on your bundle of nerves, you jolt and close your thighs around his hand.

One touch already feels too good to be true, that finally someone, Lee fucking Jeno, is actually touching your nakedness. Peering down, Jeno’s arm is flexing in between your legs. His veins popping ever so slightly and his tattoos paint his smooth skin. 

“Open your legs, babe.” His low devilish chuckle rumbles in your lower abdomen. “Let me give you the lovin’ you’ve been deprived of.” 

You shudder at his cadence and slowly pry open your legs. Jeno stops at a red light and gets to see your reaction as he rubs you in a fast rhythmic pace. A soft cry yelps from your throat and you have to grip the handle to keep yourself from spazzing out any further. 

Almost like a trance, he doesn’t notice that the light turns green. He’s locked into the sight of your contorting body. Your hips have a mind of its own, yet again, as Jeno feels you rolling deeper into his touch.

“Poor baby, you’re so touch starved that you can’t control yourself.” 

“It feels better when you do it.” You whine, your lip being bruised from your biting. But your eyes notice the green illumination and you blink over at Jeno.

He is practically drooling at the sight of you, his eyes are trained at your needy hips and dripping wet core that soaks his fingers. You stop every urge to steal more kisses from him.

Jeno briefly recovers from the trance and steps on the gas. He takes this opportunity to ease a finger into the core, causing you to exclaim and squeeze around his digit. “Oh fuck, you’re so tight.” 

“More, Jeno.” The way his name rolls off of your tongue makes his heart flutter and his dick to raise in his jeans. Without much hesitation, he slowly slips in another finger and you moan at the stretch. Pumping and curling, he ensures that you are enjoying every action.

His fingers curl against your plushy flesh and your legs spread wider for him to go deeper. You’re a moaning mess when he curls up to your sweet spot, rubbing his fingertips quickly. The familiar queasy feeling builds in your lower regions, and Jeno becomes merciless with his fingers.

He guides them in and out of you, feeling your tightness release and invite him back in. The sloppy wet noises fill the car and drown out the engine. Your half lidded eyes bounce at Jeno’s unbothered figure and the entire scene seems absolutely unbelievable to you.

One hand on the wheel. The other knuckles deep in your pussy. Eyes focus on the road ahead. A comfortable man spread. His hair is messy from the long night.

It is all too unbelievable, that Jeno’s already giving you a second climax of the night when you could barely get one in a year before. And he loves touching you as much as he loves driving. 

However, the guilty raises as fast as the ball of tension in your gut. You two pull up in front of your apartment building, while Jeno’s tugging his fingers against your flesh aggressively. In a split second, you hold onto his wrist to stop him. 

He shifts into park when the car settles into a spot and peers over to you. A curious expression daunts onto him, rather concern that he might have been too much. “I’m starting to feel guilty.” 

Jeno nods, and retrieves his fingers out of your dripping core. The feeling of emptiness causes all the built up pressure to dissipate.

“I understand,” he begins, but pauses at the sight of your sticky juices glistening on his fingers. Your eyes widen as he licks them clean, a soft moan escaping from the back of his throat. 

The small action spikes your heart rate and you rub your legs together. With a pop! Jeno hums delightfully, “baby, you taste so good. I’m a little sad I won’t be tasting more, especially directly from the source.” His lustful eyes glance down at your thighs and back to your profile. 

“I’ll walk you up to your apartment.” He says way too casually, unbuckling his seat belt. A mixture of emotions are running through your head. There is guilt, but lust is too powerful to ignore, especially when it’s Lee Jeno. The damage is already done, right? It’s not like it wasn’t moments ago that you humped him in the middle of a party. 

“Wait,” your hands find themselves gripping onto his leather jacket tightly. Jeno gently reaches over to release your strong grip and replaces the leather with his hand. 

“Yes, babygirl?” Jeno’s round, friendly eyes meet yours. The lust clouded darkness is no longer there. His hand feels hot and somewhat rough. 

“I’m going to break up with my boyfriend, so promise me, you’re not going to dip out of my life afterwards… I don’t need you to be anything more than a friend. I just can’t lose you too.”

He turns around in his seat to face you comfortably. “I don’t think you’ve noticed, but I can’t stay away from you, let alone have the ability to leave you.” He reassures you with a soothing and calm tone. His thumb draws circles around your knuckles. “I’m always going to be your friend, whether or not I know how you taste.” 

“Do you still want to try it … you know, from the source?” You shyly ask, an innocence embodying your gaze and voice cadence.

Jeno raises an eyebrow, a smirk on his lips. “I’d love to, only if you let me.” 

Instantly, you shift to get on your lower back. Jeno watches as you excitedly position yourself open for him and actually finds your eagerness quite adorable. Your left leg bends behind the driver’s seat and your right rests on the dashboard. 

He hooks his arms underneath your thighs to pull you forward towards him and your whole body slides against the leather. With a slow lift, your skirt reveals your drenched panties. Rolling them off and tossing them to the back seat, he lays eyes on your still dripping pussy. Jeno takes a second to admire your flower, this being his first time he’s seen such a private part of you.

“You’re beautiful, you know that right?” He chuckles deeply, before his tongue licks a long strip up to your clit. You exclaim out of the tingling pleasure that seized your insides.

He flattens his tongue against your bundle of nerves, flicking and circling. His finger enters your pussy again, curling up to rub at the same pace he is licking. The pure sight of Jeno’s head in between your legs is enough for butterflies to explode. 

His sole motive is to make you feel good. There is nothing else in the world that he wants at this moment beside pleasure to overtake your body. Jeno eats you out like he hasn’t had a meal in months. His mouth wraps around your clit. The mixture of his flicks and sucks cause electric bolts to run down your legs. 

You get more wet as Jeno pumps his finger in and out of your hole. Your juices are practically dripping onto the interior of the car, but Jeno doesn’t care.

He fucking loves it. He loves the taste of you lingering on his tongue. Your breathless moans. Your waterfall dripping on uncontrollably. The view of you unwinding because of him. Nothing can be more perfect. 

Running your hands through his messy locks, you press him closer into you. A devilish smile draws on his face as he flicks his tongue side to side. “Oh, fuck! I’m.. so c--close.” 

Your back arches upward into Jeno’s mouth, feeling his muscle lick harder and faster on your throbbing clit. He adds a second finger, and the simultaneous stimulation practically throws you into another dimension. The pleasure overtakes your entire lower half, your legs trembling from pure ecstasy as you approach your orgasm.

“Don’t stop, I’m going to---” Then, Jeno pulls away and shoves his tongue into your warmth. A gasp hits the air as he also continues to rub circles on your sensitive nerves. His tongue fucked your pussy incredibly skillfully and deliciously. With this switch, your legs violently shake and try clamping together.

However, his strength holds you wide and open for display. A low grunt follows suit as his dark eyes zone in on your contoured facial expressions. Then, the white light blind you once again and the ball of tension unravels itself on Jeno’s tongue. Squirming and screaming, your hips buck forward on their own. 

It is close to being too catastrophic, this being the most intense orgasm you’ve had after a whole year. Nevertheless, the satisfaction is right on the tips of your toes and you greedily indulge in the euphoric moment. Jeno feels your walls squeeze around his muscle as he laps every last bit of you up.

He is absolutely addicted to your juices, making sure he catches every drop. Finally pulling away, he wipes the extra drip on the back of his hand. Jeno blinks at your raising chest and limp legs. Chuckling, his warm hand massages feeling back into your body.

“Do you want me to carry you back up?” His hoarse, raspy voice wakes you from your post orgasm daydream. You flutter your lashes at him fondly and happily nod at his offer. 

Getting out of the car, Jeno walks over to the passenger side and your arms rest nicely around his neck. His palms support your butt, but also smoothing your skirt over to cover your decency. A poke against your outer thigh makes you realize that Jeno is strained against his jeans.

“I can take care of you too.” You pout cutely at Jeno, but he shakes his head.

“It’s not about me tonight. It’s about you.” Leaving a soft kiss on your cheek, his eyes turn into moon crescents from his lovable smile. The kind, friendliness makes an appearance again.

Or so you think! In a sheer second, Jeno’s deep voice rumbles your stomach and his hooded eyes pierce your soul, “next time though, I’m fucking you real good, babe.” 

You hum in response. Saliva collects in your mouth, already looking forward to more of Jeno. But a chilly draft brushes up your exposed area as Jeno carries you up the flight of stairs.

“Wait, Jeno… I don’t have my underwear on.” The ‘Level 3’ sign is in view as Jeno turns to walk. 

He only laughs and shrugs nonchalantly, “it’s better that way anyways.” Without another word, he continues upward to your floor and you playfully punch his solid chest. In all honesty, that’s not going to be the only time you leave behind your panties in his beloved car. 

Your hatred for the notorious Ridin’ Club subside after such a wild night. If anything, you owe it all to your shitty ex-boyfriend for joining such a ridiculous club. Without him and the club’s existence, who knows if Lee Jeno would’ve still swerve into your lane. 

[reginageourge]

I was just wondering if that's the only evidence you have on goldstarsappho? What they wrote sounds exaggerated (the "literally had to buy earplugs" talking about the smell even though they're in another room, the "super loud daddy dom," the "bruh") It seems like they could be lying?

Them being a TRA and finding out about gs-sappho scamming people by pretending to be trans or her GC views could have given them reasons to lie.

idk the message they wrote comes across as a troll, it's almost "too perfect"

we don't have solid evidence that she lied about her sexuality apart from the dm from the person at her uni, buuuuut we did have suspicions for months and months before they caught her scamming transanta that she was 1) attracted to men and 2) into ddlg. the former suspicion was based on her being really weird about certain men, like frequently talking about this one professor she has and how everyone apparently accuses her of wanting to fuck him just bc she took his classes and bought a book he wrote (I find it hard to believe that ppl would tease her about having a crush on this guy based just on those things alone), and she liked harry styles in a really intense way that came across as more than being just a fan of his music. like she bragged about being a harry styles expert and talked about reading fanfiction about him breastfeeding from his 4 nipples and making artisan cheese with the leftovers (🤢) and she was also convinced he was secretly bisexual but in the closet (but weirdly thought louis tomlinson was straight even though the harry styles gay/bi rumours are based on him apparently being in a relationship with louis tomlinson in the past). like her interest in harry styles went way beyond just liking his music, it came across as a weird fujo fangirl kind of interest. plus on her reddit account, there was a comment she made in the star trek sub where she mentioned writing an nsfw fanfiction about two-dicked klingons, and idk why a lesbian would write something like that. and she was quite into fandom, but never mentioned lesbian ships, only gay male ones.

and aside from the kinda odd way she talked about men, the way she talked about lesbianism itself was really weird. she said that she thought oral was gross, fingering was weird, strap ons were for fakebians only, and that vulvas were gross and she'd only touch one wearing a disposable glove. which barely leaves behind any lesbian sex acts. she isn't the most physically fit person so I doubt she has the flexibility to scissor, and does anyone just do like. humping on thighs. and never any other sex acts? in any case it doesn't rlly matter bc she talked about how she'd rather hold hands or kiss someone's wrist than have sex. plus she contradicted herself when talking about her sexual history a lot. like she said that she'd only ever had sex using dental dams and rubber gloves. but she also said she'd only had sex in prison standing up over corpses (lmao). and she'd also talked about how she liked having sex in extremely large bathtubs so big they're basically hot tubs. and she talked about how she only would have sex if her hair was curled and her makeup was done and she was wearing perfume etc, which makes it sound like she hasn't had sex yet bc she'd only want to do it under the circumstances of being very pampered beforehand. at first I thought she was a virgin and insecure about it, so that's why she kept telling sex stories that couldn't all be true at the same time. but I'm pretty sure she just lied to fit in with actual lesbians and lost track of which lies she'd already told.

and as for the ddlg stuff, it was a similar story. she was just doing things that gave off an adult baby vibe. you know how ppl with a certain kink will often bring it up out of nowhere ostensibly to make fun of it, like haha that's sooo weird who would be into that? even though nobody asked? that was her. plus she also commissioned toddler dresses (actual toddler dresses that had pictures of toddlers modelling them on the seamstresses website) in her size, which she'd spend quite a lot of money on, I checked the site and she had a ducky dress and a froggy dress from it which each cost $160. even though she claimed to live below the poverty line. plus during transanta, she scammed toddler backpacks and a $600 adult tricycle. those things by themselves aren't necessarily proof of her being into ddlg, she might just have a cutesy sense of style. but what seems to be proof is that in addition to the aforementioned items, during transanta she also added rompers from a company called littleforbig, which specialises in fetish clothing and adult pacifiers and the like for ppl into ddlg. and she knew that the company was for ddlg paraphernalia, bc she'd talked about how gross she thought it was that someone else on transanta requested things from this company on their gift registry. idk about anyone else, but as much as I like cute clothing myself (although not to the extent of going outside wearing a pinafore meant for 3 year olds in my size), I would never want to wear adult toddler clothing literally made to be fetish gear. and I certainly would not spend money on such a company, whether it's my own or tras.

plus we knew for sure that she lied about aspects of her identity just to make her positions seem more authoritative. like she was interested in indigenous canadian activism, so she claimed to have been raised by inuks and that she was a full member of the inuit nation and that she ate caribou and sewed seal skins and did soapstone carvings (she also claimed to have been raised by japanese-koreans and to have grown up in japan. and that she was roma but lived in chechnya. and probably other things I'm forgetting). and on her reddit she got into a fight with a woman on r/plussizefashion who posted pictures of her shein outfit (she claimed to be a big advocate for sustainable fashion despite scamming ridiculous amounts of cheap amazon knock off j-fashion and cartoon cosplay outfits during transanta), and in the middle of this argument started claiming she was a former child sweatshop worker from a developing country and that everyone who called her weird was tone-policing a victim. in my opinion, she probably is a bisexual who agreed with the gold stars during gold star discourse, but instead of just being honest about being a bisexual who happens to be pro-goldstar, she decided to pretend to be a goldstar herself to add more weight to her arguments. which also goes along with how her schtick of being a brown lesbian who went to jail and still didn't have sex with a man was basically a tailor-made response to the type of ngs on here who always brings up women in muslim countries being forcibly married to men as an explanation as to why they willingly slept with men (despite nearly all of them living in north america or europe and never being in a situation like that).

as for the tra on insta? it's possible that they're exaggerating, we don't have a way to know unless someone books a flight to halifax and gains entry to her student accommodation to see if you can really smell her dorm from out in the hallway or hear her having sex from another room. but we do think they at least actually know her and that some of the things they mentioned have some truth to them. mostly bc they talked about things we knew or suspected about gs sappho without us ever bringing them up first. for example, I asked sunlight-beauty (who was the one talking to them) to ask about the adult tricycle gs sappho scammed bc I was curious about what she did with it, like did she ride it around her campus in her 6x toddler dresses? or let it gather dust (that would have been such a power move tbh, tricking tras into buying her a $600 tricycle and then never using it). anyway, the person replied to this saying that yes she has a tricycle, and do you know what lolita fashion is? she rides around on the tricycle in these lolita dresses being flirty with men in a weird baby voice. we knew she definitely was interested in lolita fashion bc she'd talk about it all the time, and the tra was the first one to bring it up, sunlight-beauty hadn't prompted it. and there were some other things like that, where they casually brought up stuff we knew or suspected about gs sappho without us ever mentioning them first.

so idt the person is a troll. they could be exaggerating for sure, but there's at least grains of truth to what they said.

tdlr: we don't have definitive proof, but we did have enough circumstantial evidence that we were suspicious of gs sappho lying about her lesbianism long before the tra from her uni came into the picture

[unladielike]

PROS AND CONS OF DATING VIVIAN.

the pros.

She’s a very cute, glasses wearing girl. Need I say more?

You will likely end up being her special interest... aka she will have a page in her notebook dedicated to you, with all your likes and dislikes written in it. Stuff like blood type, birthday, hobbies, kinks, and turn offs would also be included as well, but regardless, you can expect to be gushed about.

There will never be a dull moment with her, so you don’t have to ever worry about being bored.

She will bring you flowers, regardless of your gender.

Vivian will take care of you if you get sick. Seriously, this girl won’t take no for an answer and will see to it that your health improves!

It’s very likely you will be the only person she truly loves. Like, she may be sexually attracted to other people, but she’s not the type to really fall for others, so romantically speaking, she will only ever have eyes for you.

Vivian actually likes physical contact and being touched, so unlike most touch-averse autistic individuals, she adores PDA, to the point where she won’t be uncomfortable if you shower her with affection.

She’s a very good girl. For example, Vivian isn’t very motivated to cook for only herself, but if she’s cooking for two, you can expect consistent home-cooked meals. She will also actually listen to you and heed what you have to say, so if you tell her you’re lactose intolerant? Expect anything she bakes/cooks to have no milk in it.

Vivian is an extrovert, so if you’re not much a talker, she can do most of the talking for you.

She’s very open minded and fun-loving, meaning she will likely agree to tag along in whatever adventure you’re dragging her into.

Vivian will actually stop hating couples/media with romance and fictional couples in it, so if you guys are dating, her bitterness towards normies would fade.

You will be up to speed when it comes to Gen-Z language and internet lingo in no time, because this girl is very much a nerd who grew up with memes.

With her, cringe culture is basically dead; in other words, she will absolutely join you, decked out in full frontal cosplay, and even go as far as to Naruto run with you.

the cons.

Vivian may be eccentric, but she isn’t a manic pixie dream girl, so you may end up disappointed if she doesn’t give you important life lessons or improve your life in any meaningful way. I mean, this girl is dumb, to the point where she doesn’t exactly have the best head on her shoulders.

She will still love 2D characters, to the point where she will continue hyperfixating over them and writing fanfiction of them. She will, however, cease to have the desire to date them in real life.

She has very bad table manners... meaning she might shamelessly belch around you.

Regardless of your gender, she will ask if you would want to take a leak together at some point.

With actual boundaries being set, Vivian can eventually mellow out over time, but if you don’t play your cards right, she can become obsessed with you. Honestly, due to the fact she has compulsive sexual behaviour, chances are high she will instigate very inappropriate actions around you.. Basically, though, if you give her an inch, she will take a mile, and by having sex with her, you’re potentially putting your dick in crazy.

Does prefer men and masc-aligned individuals, so while she is capable of being attracted to women/gender queer folks, Vivian might end up becoming miserable in a monogamous relationship with someone who isn’t a man. Like... if she is strictly forbidden to explore her sexuality with men/masc-aligned individuals, there’s a high chance she will feel trapped in that relationship, but she will never express it to you, because she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings.

She’s a slob, so she won’t often brush her hair and will probably be found with her pant pockets hanging out. Coupled with the fact she struggles when it comes to executive functioning, there might even be times where she forgets to brush her own teeth.

Despite being a true girl at heart, Vivian isn’t stereotypically feminine and will act very boyish, to the point where she’ll be the one to hold out doors and pull out chairs for you.

Vivian’s stubborn... and can get very mean-spirited, if you end up making her angry.

Because she’s an autistic woman who refuses to mask, she might prove to be a bit too much for the average neurotypical person. Honestly, her autism isn’t a cute quirk you can simply love away; in fact, it’s very much a permanent part of her, so there may be days where you’re frankly frustrated with her.

Her sense of humour can be considered off-putting at times.

She will risk her own life in order to protect you, meaning Vivian would basically shove you away from a moving car and let herself be hit instead.

The older she gets, the more she would become disillusioned by romance, so there may come a point where she would regret being in a relationship, especially with how much hard work it is and how much compromise it requires. Of course, this doesn’t mean she would necessarily stop loving her partner, but she might have lingering doubts and uncertainties over a future with them.

If you’re a man, her parents will likely bug you about having kids and will ask when you’re planning on give them grandchildren.

[kalinara]

On Aspec Identities

I’ve “joked” before that I know that it’s Pride Month, because as soon as June 1 comes around, I suddenly get to see a wonderful flood of aphobic bullshit on my dash.  

Sometimes the people who reblog this shit aren’t themselves exclusionists.  At least I’d like to think they aren’t, given that they’re mutuals who follow me, but out of ignorance, they join in on mocking what they don’t understand.

My block button gets a nice workout during Pride.

Anyway, since I do think (hope) that some of the people reblogging this nonsense do so because they are genuinely clueless, I’m inspired to write this post.

--

It’s very common, during Pride and otherwise, to see people mock the idea of aspec identities.  For example, “fraysexual”, in which people only experience sexual attraction to people they don’t know very well, for example, celebrities.

It’s very common to see otherwise well-meaning people mock this idea.  “I’m attracted to Chris Hemsworth!  Does this mean I’m suddenly LGBTQ?!”

I don’t want to attack their reading comprehension, of course, but they’re missing something obvious in that definition: the word “only”.

If you are a woman and you are attracted to Chris Hemsworth, then you’re probably straight.  Or bi.  But if you’re ONLY attracted to Chris Hemsworth and NO OTHER MEN in the world...then maybe something else is going on.

Lesbians will often talk about compulsory heterosexuality and that’s a thing that asexual people experience too.  Society has an expectation of allo-straightness and it’s very hard to define a negative, so it’s very common for a young person to express attraction to a fantasy, someone safely out of reach.  Most of us will never meet Chris Hemsworth in real life, certainly we’ll never get invited to have sex with him, so we don’t really have to parse through whether this is something we really want to do.  And well, if we’re not interested in the real life men that we know, it’s probably because they just don’t measure up.

Now, I think lesbians have one advantage in this case that asexual people don’t have.  And that’s that they do feel attraction to women.  It’s suppressed, and it may take a lot of time to realize it, but it’s there.  And once you feel the real thing, I think that it makes it easier to see the “attraction” to Chris Hemsworth for what it is.

Most asexual people don’t have a “real thing” to put the fantasy and cultural programming into perspective.  It’s very hard to define a negative, and often you end up doing that by defining everything else around out.  That blank space is what’s left.

And that’s why aspec identities exist: because society has a really complicated relationship with sexuality in general.  A physical sex drive can complicate matters too.  Because that’s a thing that most people have.  Hormones and gonads and all that.  And if you think growing up with all those impulses is confusing already, try it when you don’t have a sexual orientation to direct it.

So that’s, I think, where a lot of these identities come from.  Identities like fraysexual and lithsexual (sexual attraction ONLY if it’s not reciprocated) sound weird to an outside observer, until you understand that the end goal is not to have sex!  The end goal is to process what we’re feeling and not feeling and define it for ourselves.  

As a young person, I didn’t know I was asexual.  I thought there was something wrong with me.  I’d grasp at straws and think to myself that I must be straight, because I liked slash fanfiction.  Because I liked erotica.  Clearly I just never really had the opportunity to have sex.  I have very specific trait preferences.

And then the invitation came!  From someone who was objectively very attractive.  He* was beautiful, a live action and real life version of the characters I’d read about, amazingly smart, great sense of humor.  I’d fantasized about them for a long time before this moment.  (More accurately, I should say “They” as later, they came out as non-binary.  At the time though, I’d believed them to be male, just as I’d believed myself to be female.  People are complicated.)

The fantasy was real!  There was no better time!  And....all I could feel was a resounding “NO.”  I liked them a lot.  But...no.  No.  (They took the refusal with good grace, they were really great!)  The aftermath was rough on me though, because I no longer could fool myself.

I don’t consider myself lithsexual or fraysexual because in my case, the attraction wasn’t so much to the person as to the fantasy of being straight.  But people come in all variations, and we can only really define ourselves.

Ultimately, aspec identities aren’t about you unless they apply to you.  But for us, they can be a literal lifesaver.  I spent a long time thinking I was broken.  Why could I feel a sexual response when reading erotica but not want to have sex?!  Obviously I can’t be asexual if I feel SOMETHING, right?

And then, and then, at the age of thirty or so, I stumbled across the concept of autochorissexuality.  The idea of a disconnect between self and sexual desire.  And I realized, wait.  There I am.  You can’t imagine the sense of relief.

THAT’s why these identities exist.  It doesn’t MATTER if you understand them.  It doesn’t MATTER if you think they’re valid.  They’re for US, not you.  And it costs exactly 0 dollars to shut the fuck up about something that has nothing to do with you.

[looney-mooney]

Perryschmirtz is a weird ship that I'm not sure if I am willing to actually ship. Like, Perry can CLEARLY consent and make his own choices, and he's undeniably sapient. But he's still a Platypus. It just feels kind of weird to me. I love their dynamic, but if I ever ship them, it would from an only romantic angle with zero sex stuff. (Also, even if it wasn't an issue, Platypus Biology is still deeply, deeply Cursed.)

I mean, yeah, that’s entirely valid. I personally interpret Perry as asexual and demiromantic (which is great, because Dan Povenmire himself recently stated that Perry’s asexual! Headcanon VALIDATED) and Doof as Bi/Pan. You don’t need sex or sexual attraction to have a happy healthy relationship. And if I’m being honest, that’s one of the main reasons why I ship them. Because it’s not about the physical attraction, it’s about the dynamic relationship.

Doof obviously needed Perry to be his Rock, to help give him the stability his life so desperately needed and to help him work through his trauma. This has been established multiple times, and I don’t think I need to go in depth about why Perry’s important to Doof. But I’d argue that Perry needed Doof too, to figure out who he is when he’s not just being Perry the Pet or Agent P - both identities just as fabricated as eachother. Perry the Platypus is a separate title from both these things, a combination of identities, something new that allows Perry to figure out who he really is behind the masks. The breaks in their fights, the times when Doof would drag Perry out for lunch or a movie, the little personal moments between them were important.

And beyond that, Doof gave Perry an outlet for his parental instincts - Perry always loved the Flynn-Fletchers, and he always will, but he was never allowed to show them who he is as a person. He was never allowed to be a guardian to them. But with Vanessa and Norm? He’s basically their stepdad, if not more. Doof gave him that opportunity.

It’s less about physical attraction and more about what they mean to eachother as people. They’re nemeses, partners, best friends and coparents. They didn’t mean to end up needing eachother like this, but they did anyway. They fell in love - platonic, romantic, whatever - over time, as they spent every day together and got to know eachother bit by bit. They learned to trust one another, learned to make their relationship work.

As for the physical side of their relationship, we see how that manifests in the show. They like fighting, dancing, holding hands, exercising, holding eachother (though that one comes out of necessity more often than personal indulgence), and all kinds of other things together. They’re a very happy couple, albeit with a very unconventional relationship.

Also like, I’m pansexual. To me, physical bodies are only attractive to the extent that they are an extension of the people who inhabit them, and sex is only hot to the extent that it is a display of the love, trust, and communication between the individuals involved. Which I know is weird, but like. When it comes to fictional media, I personally don’t care how “cursed” the biology is, so long as the characters are into eachother. In fact, I tend to gravitate towards fics that feature peculiar anatomy, specifically because it requires more communication between the characters involved, and that’s hot. And I also tend to gravitate away from nsfw fanart, because it tends to objectively the characters involved, and that’s not hot to me personally. Like, you do you dude. I’m gonna hunker down here with my weird-ass slow-burn fanfiction featuring aliens and domestic shenanigans and maybe the occasional cyborg. I’m reading two different time-traveling slow-burn enemies-to-friends-to-lovers fics as we speak. They’re both rated T and they both heavily feature ptsd and sci-fi political drama. One of them features an alien cat man and the other features a tyrannical demon, both brought low by the vengeance of their victims and healing with the help of those who should be their enemies. I am horny for plot

Also platypus biology is cool shut up. Platypi have button-like sensors on their beaks that let them detect organic electricity to help them find prey in murky waters and their foreplay includes circular swimming and tail biting and their fur turns teal in UV light and they’re one of the few monotreme species in the world and like they’re just really neat little critters. Platypi are my favorite animals. They’re so weird I love them. I would not fuck a platypus, but I might, if given the opportunity, become a platypus. Doofenshmirtz DEFINITELY took the opportunity to become a platypus that one time and I think that’s amazing. Furries exist

[johns-prince]

John also had a lovely mix of masculine and feminine physical traits, though this wouldn't become obvious until 1968. When he was on the skinny side (which I loved, sue me) you could tell how beautifully delicate and dainty his bone structure was, way more than Paul's imo. He had those gorgeous long legs and graceful narrow hips that you most commonly find in fashion models. And I love that until at least 1975, he showcased his body beautifully, especially those legs.

Ironically I feel as if people didn't embrace John's femme beauty as well as they did with Paul. I don't know why. Most people seem to prefer him with the more masculine look of 1966. Which was great as well, he was gorgeous but I am a big fan of the 1968 to 1974 run. Btw, note to fanfic writers: please, show John's body some love, I know Paul is stunning but it's kind of exhausting reading 10 pages about how pretty he is and when it comes to my boy John he barely gets a paragraph 😂

Alright, I feel like I’m probably gonna rub a lot of people in this fandom the wrong way with what I’m going to say but this is my blog and you did send this to my inbox so here we go; At the end of the days these are my thoughts and feelings and I might not articulate them very well or I often ramble till I do!

I have my issues, and a complicated relationship with 1968-70s John Lennon. I love John, and thought him healthy and just right in his body type, basically up until 1968, and it’s spotty onward throughout the 70s. To me, John was naturally masculine looking, there’s not exactly an era or year that I could give you like you gave me [Specifically 1966? What about his teddy boy days? All of the early 60s? Hell even throughout the 70s, to me John still was masculine looking to me] He was a bit awkward in his teenhood, but all the boys were, and gradually grew into his adult body. Boy was built and sturdy, naturally thick and strong. 

So we’re probably split on this, because while you see the positives in 1968-1974/70s John, I only really see the negatives. You say skinny, I say malnourished and/or sickly. Depressed druggie who was pushing everyone and everything he loved away, and becoming pathetically dependent on an individual like Yoko [and the other vultures during that time who were terrible influences] 

George was skinny, John was not well and either starving himself or simply using drugs and alcohol as the basis for his diet. And diets.. don’t even get me started on that, the diets he was on, the unhealthy lifestyle that his wife only seemed to enable and help him get on. 

When I look at George, sometimes I get the need to feed him, like an old Mexican mother. When I look at John, who’d lost an unhealthy amount of weight for what it looked like for his body type, I don’t see delicate and dainty bone structure. I see a man who just, he’s not well, something’s wrong.

I’ll give it to you that 1974 New York photoshoot looked very nice, he had muscle again in his arms, though he was still relatively skinny, he didn’t look sickly, or depressed. So I can give you that period during the 70s, I will give you that [hey he was away from Yoko during this no fucking wonder he looked pretty good here] and that shoot was definitely a model moment, wasn’t it? [Not like he didn’t have many of those moments throughout his life] 

So there moments in the seventies where I think John doesn’t look half bad? Even relatively fine? Certainly, I’m devastatingly attracted to this man, dear God almighty have mercy on my soul yes I am. So I’ll agree that yeah, there were periods during the 70s in which John seemed to hold himself fairly well, I’d still climb it.

But I’m at least willing to admit that when John started his spiraling, in 1968, that he was Not Okay. And I personally believe he wasn’t all that okay throughout most of the 70s too... Maybe my issue isn’t with him being ‘skinny’ as it is I don’t like the underweight/severely underweight look on John, I just don’t. The incredibly unhealthy way he went about losing weight... Physically frail doesn’t fit him, and it only upsets me whenever I see photos of him that show how thin his legs became or how you can see his ribs, just how wasted away he’d look at times throughout the 70s, up until the last days of his life. 

You want a “skinny” or ''skinnier'' John Lennon? A healthy, ‘’skinny/skinnier’’ John Lennon for his body type, is ‘66 and ‘67 in my eyes, and even then it wasn’t a radical change in weight loss; John still looked like John.

And speaking of 1968-1969, or the White Album era; don’t think it isn’t lost on me when I see people making light of John’s unhygienic appearance during the making of the White Album. Boy was depressed and hurting for whatever reason, again, spiraling, and getting lost in Yoko and heroin as a means of escapism and someone to tell him ‘it’s alright it isn’t your fault it’s everyone else’s fault’. Of course he didn’t care much for his personal appearance or hygiene... I will say I appreciate your appreciation for him during that period, instead of getting the whole ‘stinky/smelly rat man.’ Maybe I’m too much of a ‘’stan’’ but I don’t find it very amusing or endearing. 

Don’t find me mocking or ‘’teasing’’ Paul’s depressed ass and his appearance during the breakup period/white album era-- but I suppose it’s because Paul actually tried and wasn’t on hard drugs, and had a good wife, so he was able to wear his depression and struggle with alcoholism a bit better, hmm? I don’t like Paul’s beard simply because I know it was the result of his lack of energy, depression, and falling into the drink-- he simply didn’t feel the need nor had the energy to care for himself, so that’s why he let it grow out. I don’t like it because of that, but that’s as much as you’ll get from me. 

Anyway... Maybe I just don’t see John as characteristically feminine/effeminate as Paul, although he has his moments of acting and wearing clothes that are campy and elegant or give off a softer appearance, specifically around 1968 and throughout the 70s. But otherwise, I can’t agree, John didn’t have the same mixture, or balance of masculine and feminine traits as Paul-- and if it’s only made obvious during the downfall turning point of The Beatles and John (1968), then I don’t think that really counts as a ‘’lovely’’ mix of masculine and feminine traits for the reasons I mentioned. So I’ve got to disagree. John's always come off as much more masculine, or naturally masculine, both physically and characteristically, to me.

You know maybe it’s just the blogs I interact with, but I feel like it’s the other way around. I know I can sometimes come off as aggressive but at the end of the day I don’t necessarily care what one person thinks or believes, since it’s all relatively subjective to our own ideas of things and biases, etc... I have my thoughts and beliefs and theories and whether people agree or disagree with them on tumblr dot com... Well, what’re you gonna do? Nothing, it’s not my problem. 

What I 100% agree on you with is about showing Johnny’s body a bit more love and attention to detail when it comes to writing about him in fanfiction! 

There’s his auburn red hair, a darker ginger, which was thick and fun to watch as it lit up like fire when sunlight hit him, and could easily go wavy and curl when left unkempt and natural. The splattered and scattered galaxies of light freckles up and down his arms, his shoulders, his back, even a couple on his face. His aquiline nose, a relatively square jawline and facial structure, thick, heavy eyebrows which really intensify expressions of rage and hurt, almond shaped eyes which are the color of honey-amber when the light hits them just right and outlined with thick, long lashes, blind as a bat without his glasses but can give a mean squint which either helps scare off trouble, or brings it right to him, especially when he’s got thin bitten lips that could pull off a devilishly cheeky smirk or a no-good, charming grin to showcase teeth with the upper front turned slightly in towards each other, gives that imperfection which truly just perfects it-- a face like that of a tragic hero in a Greek Romance, distinctive and handsome. How he just oozed filthy sex and genuine trouble, sweaty leather and smoky dancehalls and rock & roll that crawls up your spine like an orgasm. Hips that could roll like Elvis and strong legs, thick thighs which would make a lovely place to sit. Broad shoulders, strong arms that could easily manage to lift you up and manhandle you in any way he’d like. Big hands, almost like shovels-- beautiful hands, with fingernails usually bitten short and occasionally had black ink or charcoal under them from when he’d be working on art, and rough, callused fingertips from playing guitar till they split and bleed, add a lovely roughness to any gentle touching he might do. A naturally thick midsection, a normal, healthy layer of fat which covers the sinewy just beneath. Any hair is light, light and lightly colored, on his arms and legs and chest. Cute tush, nice butt, a nice boy butt, slightly muscular bubble butt. 

Fun facts; he had the largest feet out of all four Beatles. John isn’t circumcised. John and George share the same height. John has a surprisingly long tongue. John’s skin tone may be light, but for comparison, he’s much tanner compared to Paul-- he’s a bit more olive or wheat to his skin tone, and tanned very, very well. John’s cheeks could become easily red though. John liked the scent of citrus to wear--  he was also self conscious about the fact he could easily sweat and so usually wore such colognes or scents, didn’t want to smell bad. He started smelling of witch hazel when with Yoko. Despite his issue with sweating, he didn’t smell bad naturally. John was a true romantic, being an artist outside of being a musician/rock and roller-- he just didn’t like to show it, and growing up in his time, you couldn’t. John’s a swimmer, he loved to swim and loved the ocean.